Every day (even a ‘bad’ day) is a good day

Referring to Abraham’s age, it is written in parshas Chayei Sarah, “v’Avraham zakein, ba bayamim” (Bereishis 24:1). The common translation is “And Abraham was old, advanced in days,” but the Hebrew wording “ba bayamim” literally means that “he came with his days.” What does this mean? The Zohar comments on these words that “When Abraham passed from this world, he rose and vested himself in his days, for he was not lacking even one of these precious garments” (Zohar vol. 1, 224a). In other words, he brought all of his days with him because every one of his days was precious.

But how can we say that all of Abraham’s days were precious, or that he brought all of them with him into the next world, when we know that he didn’t find Hashem until he was forty, and therefore not only did he not serve God these first 40 years of his life, but until he found God he was actually an idolater?

The Rebbe addresses this question with a discussion of the mitzvah of education and whether it is a mitzvah from the Torah to train a child in mitzvos before bar/bat mitzvah when s/he become responsible for them. There is a debate whether this mitzvah is d’oraisa (from the Torah) or d’rabbonon (from the Rabbis), but all agree that either way, one should begin preparing the child for the mitzvos before s/he is liable for them. This is because one can’t be expected to simply begin doing something proficiently without having learned about it beforehand.

Therefore, it is understood that the preparation for a mitzvah is part of the mitzvah, even if it is not considered a mitzvah itself. Every step along the way is included in the path.  From this, we see that Abraham’s search before he found Hashem is included in “ba bayamim” – he brought these days along with him as well. Even though he wasn’t following Hashem’s laws and doing mitzvos during those first 40 years, they were part of his search, process, and preparation, and therefore they were still considered “precious garments” and he was able to bring them with him into the next world.

Many of us followed far-flung paths before we found our way. Even now, we may often stray and lose ourselves. Yet as we learn from Abraham’s first 40 years, we shouldn’t judge ourselves for where we have been and what we have done until now. Every step was part of the path that led us here. We are not “sinners” or hopelessly irredeemable. We are holy, and we are loved, and when we stop worrying about our past, we can allow it to catapult us into a beautiful future.

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