Facial Hair
I studied their mug shots.
Yes, I saw six Wolverine Watchmen all under arrest.
Yes, they selected a name with the initials WW, which seems like an ominous rip-off of Hitler’s SS?
Yes, they picked a scavenger that has a reputation for ferocity and strength out of proportion to its size.
Yes, these six right-wing nuts are charged with plotting to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.
Yes, they also discussed “taking” Virginia Governor Ralph Northam because of his Covid-19 lockdown order.
No, I have no idea how many of these Watchman walk on our free streets seeking to deprive us of our liberty.”
Yes, I know what their goal is—to start a civil war.”
Yes, I remember that right before the end of the Civil War, John Wilkes Booth and his band of confederates plotted the kidnapping and holding President Abraham Lincoln for ransom.
Yes, I know their plan evolved to assassination only after the South surrendered.
Yes, I rubbed the bristles on my chin, as I noticed something that these six Wolverine Watchman had in common.
Yes, they were all white and they all sported facial hair.
Yes, one even had grown a Hitler mustache.
Yes, I thought, “When was the last time, I saw in person, a man with a Hitler mustache?”
Yes, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember ever seeing anyone with a Hitler mustache.
Yes, the other five wore manicured beards.
Not scruffy beards.
Not the beards of Marx, Castro and Guevara.
Not a Lincolnesque beard.
Yes, I tried picturing a leading Nazi figure who wore a beard.
No, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember ever seeing one.
Yes, these Wolverines displayed shorter, hipper facial hair:
Cool beards to draw attention away from their weak minds;
Proud-boy beards suited to accessorize lit torches and Nazi howls.
Yes, the hairs on their chins are their badges of honor: bigotry and hatred;
Yes, their facial-hairs are ID cards—disclosing their paramilitary status;
Yes, they proudly own their beards.
Yes, it is their swastika armband, and their KKK hood.
Yes, we know what they look like and
Yes, we also have reputation for ferocity and strength out of proportion to our size.
