Failure to Communicate May Be No Laughing Matter
The reason God, upset by Sarah’s laughter as she learned that she
would have a baby boy when she like Abraham was old, asked him why Sarah
had laughed — although when Abraham had laughed God did not seem to be
upset — should not mistakenly suggest that he’s fairer to men than to females.
The actual reason God asked Abraham why Sarah laughed may be that He wondered why Abraham had not told Sarah she would bear his second son, communicating badly.
Such bad communication between some of the Bible’s spouses is perhaps why many blundered, like us today when failing to communicate with spouses just as Abraham did, double badly.
This failure can be far more dangerous than any fertile female’s laugh,
and maybe was the reason Isaac’s non-sacrifice killed Abraham’s old better half.
Gen. 18:12-13 states:
יב וַתִּצְחַק שָׂרָה, בְּקִרְבָּהּ לֵאמֹר: אַחֲרֵי בְלֹתִי הָיְתָה-לִּי עֶדְנָה, וַאדֹנִי זָקֵן. 12 And Sarah laughed within herself, saying: ‘After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?’
יג וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוָה, אֶל-אַבְרָהָם: לָמָּה זֶּה צָחֲקָה שָׂרָה לֵאמֹר, הַאַף אֻמְנָם אֵלֵד–וַאֲנִי זָקַנְתִּי. 13 And the LORD said unto Abraham: ‘Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying: Shall I of a surety bear a child, who am old?
The reason why God asks this question is because He is asking Abraham why he did not communicate the laughter-inducing news to Sarah. Gen. 17:17 states:
יז וַיִּפֹּל אַבְרָהָם עַל-פָּנָיו, וַיִּצְחָק; וַיֹּאמֶר בְּלִבּוֹ, הַלְּבֶן מֵאָה-שָׁנָה יִוָּלֵד, וְאִם-שָׂרָה, הֲבַת-תִּשְׁעִים שָׁנָה תֵּלֵד. 17 Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart: ‘Shall a child be born unto him that is a hundred years old? And shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, deliver a child?
My explanation suggests that God was angry with Abraham when his wife Sarah laughed, providing a new gloss on Rashi’s explanation of Gen. 17:17, which explains that God is angry with Sarah because her laughter was based on lack of faith in God, whereas Abraham’s laughter was based on the joy that the good news inspired.
I suggest that God indeed does become angry with Abraham when Sarah laughs, because her laughter implies that he had not shared the good news with her, an omission mentioned by both Nahmanides and Rabbenu Bahya ben Asher (see “Sarah, Afraid of Abraham, Denies Laughing,” thetorah.com, by Tammi J. Schneider). This foreshadows Abraham’s failure to share with her his intention to sacrifice their son Isaac at the aqedah, an event that may have caused her death, due to grieving not just for the loss of Isaac’s life, which in the event never occurred, but also due to Abraham’s failure to communicate with her.
