Feeling lucky to be alive

Last week there was no article — not that you noticed — because it was my husband’s birthday and as much as I was planning to work on the article while chilling on the beach, Nasrallah had other plans for us. We did end up going to the beach, I got tanned, my husband swam like a merman for three hours and we had a great day together. But today is not about my husband, it is about music and friends.

Back in 2018, for students’ day at Tel Aviv University, they brought the Balkan Beat Box band for a concert. Other singers were there, too, including Netta Barzilai. Somehow part of me connected immediately with BBB, especially with their song: Part of the Glory. It was my first time living alone and also away from home (Peru), I was making my own history, I was building up my own glory.

I went to this concert with a female classmate, and my Latin background had me a bit worried about safety. The whole concert we both felt free and safe to dance and drink as we wanted and not even once did we have a guy trying to make a move on us or stepping into our space. It was pure magic. It was a fascinating new experience for me.

I have been living in Israel for almost 4 years and every time I would see the BBB doing a concert, something would come up and I couldn’t go. A few weeks ago I saw they were going to perform in Modi’in and told my husband I really wanted to go. The pain in his face was too obvious. My man would go (and has already done it!) to war for me, but he will probably do everything in his power to avoid going to a concert, he just doesn’t like crowded, loud places. Lucky for him, I have a Noy, and she is, along with BBB, the focus of this article.

When I officially moved to Jerusalem back in 2020, I had no friends. When it came to going out to have fun I was a little burden for my husband and his (mostly) male friends. Don’t take me wrong, I enjoyed hanging out with them and I know they liked having me around, too, but eventually I was tired of sitting in bars listening to them discuss politics and day to day living in Israel. Them with their beers and me most of the time with a juice or a sweet cocktail was not my longterm dream.

After almost two years of living in Jerusalem, I started classes at HUJI and in my first session there she was. All bubbly and acting like the most popular girl in class. Everyone wanted to talk to her, sit next to her, and be in her space. It was an 8:30 morning class on a Sunday, everyone was barely hanging but somehow she was full of life and ready to kick off the day and the week.

She chose a seat near mine and introduced herself to me. She spoke fluent Spanish and my latino heart started jumping around. We had the class and went separate ways. I had like 2 more classes that day and I am too shy to even ask someone to hang out, especially the girl that was surrounded by everyone. By the third session we were in talking terms but I was still too shy to ask to hangout after class. One of those days we ran into each other in the hallways and she asked me if I wanted to hang out with some classmates but unfortunately for me I had to prepare for a test in the next class. I texted my husband all excited about the interaction and he told me I should reach out to her just in general.

I was drowning at the idea in the tables at the library. I didn’t even have her number. My husband kept pushing me to be Israeli and just reach out. I went through the class members’ emails in the Moodle and found her. There she was. In a crazy leap of faith I emailed her (see image below). She also wanted to hangout, what?

I was trying very hard to write my own story (all over again) but when you are in your late 20’s it is not that easy anymore. How do you connect with new people? I already had good friends back in Peru. Friends who knew my traumas, my irks, my happy things, my anger triggers, who accepted me like I was and I did not have to retell my story to get them on board.

How do you know if these new friends will be able to accept and manage everything you have been carrying with you for the past 20 something years? There is no way. It is a gamble and I suck at it. I never bet money when playing cards because I know I will lose. How could I bet on new friendships when migration only made my baggage heavier and harder to carry and share. How do I unpack all my drama that took over 6 luggages to bring from Peru to Israel and not scare the potential friend away? How? Well, let me tell you Noy was up for the game and has not disappointed me at all.

I think that the fact that she speaks Spanish and is fascinated with Latin American culture made things much easier. I think the fact that I am madly in love with an Israeli and with Israel also helped. We started going out for food, then I had her over at home for a few gatherings. And eventually she has become part of my life. Fun fact: she now works for my father in law. She is not only a friend, she is also very involved with my family, on many levels.

It took a quick conversation while painting ceramics with another good friend we both have, Maayan (More about her in a future post), to get Noy on board about going to see Balkan Beat Box live in Modi’in. She got the tickets, I paid her back and my husband suggested picking us up so we wouldn’t have to navigate the country at such late hours. Isn’t he the cutest? By the way, Noy is single and ready to mingle. And yes, I will have to pre approve the guy because Noy deserve the best guy outside to match her energy, crazy dreams and love for her country.

At some point during the concert Tomer Yosef, the lead singer, said he wasn’t sure if they should be performing that night but after seeing all of us so engaged and happy, he had to keep going. Sometimes all a girl needs is a BBB concert with her friend. A concert to release all the sadness, frustration, anger and anxiety that has been accumulated in my chest since October 7th. A concert to party like no one cares, like nothing else in the world matters.

Noy represents my leap of faith about building new friendships. She is my lifeline to Israel culture. She teaches me about Judaism, life in Israel, her world, her family, and I am just in awe of the woman she is and how lucky I am to have her as a friend. I have thrown at her the many unfair moments I have experienced in Israel and she is still there, holding my hand, matching my crazy laugh, my dramatic stories and my yearning for more in life. We both always want more from life, from Israel, from the world.

Balkan Beat Box is friendship and safety for me. It connects me with the local music and vibe while singing in a language I can understand and connect with. BBB provides me with a safe space to dance, jump, sing, scream along people who won’t judge me or break into my personal space. Migrating is my wild wonder and BBB makes me feel lucky to be alive and allows me to be part of the story, part of the same of Israel.

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**Disclaimer: This article was finished before the news of the hostages was published. My heart is aching and I just want to cry until this is over. My love with the people of Israel, now and forever.