Finding peace in the promised land – a new approach

Finding Peace in the Promised Land – A Radical New Approach to Resolving the Arab-Israel Conflict

In early 2014, I hiked the Israel National Trail, an 800-mile trek through the Negev desert, the mountains of the Galil, the hills of Jerusalem, the beaches along the coast and everything in between. A challenge for a 50+ casual hiker just getting over a painful divorce, the Trail affords an amazing perspective on the history and people, vistas and nature of the holy land. And over the course of the two months of hiking alone, I reached a number of conclusions which not only helped to face the physical difficulties of the hike, and to move ahead with the emotional process of healing; they suggest a radical new approach to finding peace between Arabs and Jews in this region.

My book, My Israel Trail, describes this transformative hike, and the manner in which I began to recover from the personal tragedy of my divorce – and proposes methods others can use to deal with their own challenges. But these concepts, these eternal truths culled from my experience, from Jewish tradition and other sources, when applied to the predicament faced by the Jewish nation and the Arab people(s) in this region, can very well be the key to moving beyond centuries of conflict into a new era of peace and prosperity.  (This is the subject of my next, forthcoming, book, Finding Peace in the Promised Land.)

Now is the time to re-evaluate the stale and illogical approach taken by so many ‘peace makers’ over the past century, given developments in the region and new leadership in many western nations, as Donald Trump once again sets out to try to succeed where so many have failed.  President Trump’s recent audacious suggestion that Gaza’s population of refugees be resettled temporarily or permanently elsewhere while Hamas is eliminated, their culture of hatred dismantled and their society de-nazified, and moderate leadership is found, has provoked public re-consideration of various myths and misperceptions – and it’s about time.  (Whether one supports this particular idea or opposes it, the search for new alternatives is clearly a long-overdue imperative.)

Here’s a perfect metaphor. On a trek, sometimes you reach an impasse. Not only is it unclear what the next step is; you’re not sure even how you got there, and are too scared to move. All the alternatives you can imagine are dangerous, or unpalatable, or frightening. You’re stuck, and the panic starts to rise.

At one point on the Trail, I found myself on a cliff’s edge, on the brink of panic. I had reached a dead end: there was no way forward. But I couldn’t bring myself to turn around; I was frozen in place, trapped. I took 3 deep breaths, put down my backpack, and turned around carefully. I had done that ledge once with the pack, I knew that; all I had to do was convince myself I could do it again, this time in the opposite direction. When I hefted the pack back on, it seemed somehow lighter, more manageable. It had not changed; I had changed. Or rather, my attitude, my sense of self and sense of direction and purpose, had changed.

Sometimes we have to set aside our baggage and re-evaluate. My hike along the Israel Trail enabled the discovery, or re-discovery, of a number of essential truths for living. I was overwhelmed by the daunting challenges facing me—on the Trail, in my life, and at the national level. Every day brought a new difficulty, from scorching heat and impossible inclines to aching loneliness and crises of confidence, from news of family problems to news of terror attacks. I meditated on mountain tops and cried in dry creek beds; I wrote anguished journal entries and composed songs to lift my spirits. I looked back, and inward, and up to the night sky, and over the valley to the next mountain range, and down at the ants in the dirt, and back along the path to see how far I’d come. What I discovered on the Trail was a sense of self, and a sense of personal and national history… and a perspective of sorts on the human condition.

In my search for inner serenity while walking the Land, I realized many of these truths helping me on my personal journey could be helpful to others, and I’ve been gratified to see how effective and inspiring they are to so many, since the book’s publication seven years ago.  These principles are also powerfully relevant to our efforts to bring peace to the region, between the Arab and Jewish nations and between adherents to the faiths of Islam, Christianity, and Judaism.

Here’s what I came to understand, applied to the Arab-Israel conflict.  (One caveat: None of what’s written here dictates any particular policy prescription; using these tools will simply help us explore the multiple possibilities open to those pursuing real peace.)

There are five fundamental elements which combine to create the framework for real peace and harmony, whether personal or national.  Humility—the understanding of our place in the universe, which includes a belief in the intrinsic worth and beauty of all people and things.  Acceptance—of reality, of the world as it is and not as we’d like it to be.  Gratitude—appreciation for what we have and what the world offers us.  Forgiveness –of those who have hurt us (or are perceived to have harmed us).  And, finally, a sense of meaning and purpose.

Combining these five on a hiking trail helps immeasurably. A life philosophy based on these five elements can lead to incredible happiness—the kind we all yearn for. And in relations between peoples, between cultures, between religions or civilizations in conflict, these five concepts may well be the key to finally put a stop to generations of enmity, persecution, suffering and killing here in this small sliver of land on the eastern edge of the Mediterranean.

Humility, for perspective

The first step is the hardest, as the song says; in this context it is certainly the least practiced. How many times have leaders—in Israel, the Arab world, Europe, and particularly the US—attempted to propose a “solution” to resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict only to see it flounder on the rocks of intransigence or disinterest or, worse, literally blow up in their face? In recent years (and here is not the place to list the dozens of “peace plans” presented) the hubris has swollen to unbelievable proportions, almost a caricature of the diplomat or academic lost in their ivory tower completely disconnected from reality. And this is integrally connected to the lack of any perspective regarding the ability of outside actors to affect the attitudes or behavior of the players on the ground.

As I walked through the desert over those first days, I felt incredibly insignificant; at times it was crushing. But it was also liberating, and humbling, as I discovered how small and unimportant I am, and we all are, in the long rush of history and reality. Trudging alone along wide dry river beds, I often thought of Moses, chosen to lead the children of Israel precisely for his modesty, as well as Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln, among others—and without knowing it, discovered this first key to finally reaching peace in our region. A little perspective, please.

Acceptance of reality, based on humility

Connected to this, accepting what is—it’s hot, it’s steep, it’s lonely—allows us to focus on what we need to do, and to enjoy the experience. Acknowledgment of reality as it is, rather than insisting on changing it or berating ourselves for our part in making it that way, is simply cathartic. This is not to say we can’t or shouldn’t work to change our reality; it is simply the first step in mapping our path towards that change. That pithy folk aphorism about accepting the things I cannot change gets it exactly right: acknowledging that there are aspects of life over which we have no control.

One of the greatest strengths of Moshe (Moses) was his humility; our sages teach that this was his defining characteristic. (There are many sources in Islam demanding humility, as well as acceptance.)  “Acceptance” simply is the recognition that we are not truly in control of every aspect of our life—or even many—and is a large part of that humility.  And for Arab and Jew, accepting our situation, our history, each other, is the next step towards real peace. Arabs and Muslims must accept the internationally-recognized connection of the Jews to our ancestral homeland, and thus the legitimacy of the establishment of the nation-state of the Jewish people (in whatever borders are eventually agreed upon).  Thankfully, the Abraham Accords reached under the first Trump administration were an expression of the acceptance  by some Arab and Muslim leaders of Israel’s and the Jews’ place in the region.  Jews and Israelis must accept that those Arabs who self-identify as “Palestinian” exist, irrespective of the history of the region.

The key to accommodation is this acceptance of reality.

Gratitude as a result and motivator of acceptance

By accepting any given situation—divorce, death, war, flood—with minimal or no complaint, we open ourselves up to see the incredible miracles we otherwise ignore or take for granted. Gratitude is the third lesson I learned on the Trail. A sunset, birdsong, or stunning view would make my day; I found myself in tears of gratefulness for my family, my health, and the opportunity I had to walk the Land – yes, in the midst of my hurt – and even for the existence of my country.

Combining these three initial elements—humility, acceptance, and gratitude—into a framework for pursuing peaceful relations between the people of the Middle East has never been tried. As a starting point for negotiations, this would dramatically alter both the approach and the environment within which productive discussion can develop.

Israelis celebrating with gratitude the miracle of the re-establishment of Jewish sovereignty in the Land of Israel after 2000 years of dispersal must accept the historical complexities of Israel’s founding, as well as the existence of an Arab community self-identifying as the national grouping now recognized as “Palestinian”. Arabs expressing gratitude for that very acknowledgment by the world (and by most Israelis, too) of their claim to self-determination must accept those same historical complexities and the justified existence of the nation-state of the Jewish people.

Of course “acceptance” must extend beyond mere acknowledgment of the facts on the ground to a deeper recognition of that reality – within the context of appreciation for all we’ve achieved to date. The Arab and Muslim world, and “Palestinian” Arabs in particular, must accept that the Jews are here, returned to their ancient homeland: get over it, acknowledge the truth of the claim, even applaud that return as early Arab leaders did as part and parcel of the new international standard of national liberation movements.

And, similarly, Jews and Israelis can finally admit that the “Palestinians” exist; whether historically they were a distinct national identity or not is now irrelevant. Their claim to independence has been supported by the international community more strongly than that of the Kurds, Basques or others who may have a stronger case, but it is a reality and should be recognized and even promoted, rather than opposed.

(Where a “Palestinian state” should be placed, and the permanent territory and borders of the Jewish state of Israel, is of course another discussion; but one which, based on this mutual acceptance, can take a whole different course and shape than it has up until now.)

And the gratitude which that acceptance brings is actually already a part of the Israeli and Arab cultures. We in this generation are witness to the incredible, and incredibly poetic and inspiring, re-emergence of Jews on the world stage as a nation—Am Yisrael, the People of Israel—beyond any religious or faith-based cultural construct. And we are witness also to the emergence of a Palestinian people who, within the wider Arab national affiliation, is one of the more advanced, modern, educated and forward-looking ethnicities in the region (even though large segments of its population have been captivated by, or educated in, a hateful antisemitic Jihadist ideology).

These two communities have much to rejoice over. Focusing on these elements, with the ‘power of positive thinking’, rather than the criticisms and grievances towards ‘the other’, will create an affirmative dynamic missing from previous attempts. These themes should permeate the religious and cultural milieu of the region, Arab and Jew, Israeli and Palestinian and Jordanian and Saudi and Egyptian and further afield.  (As just one example of the many sources in Muslim tradition for some of these ideas: “If you are grateful, I would certainly give you more, and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is truly severe.” [Quran,14:7])

Forgiveness as a new starting point

Gratitude for my 28-year marriage wasn’t easy to achieve, marred as it was by my wife’s leaving. Yet realizing my own insignificance, accepting the reality, and pushing myself to remember and appreciate all the wonderful aspects of the life we’d built together, was a crucial process enabling me to reach a level of forgiveness.

We can base our forgiveness on models suggested by Leo Buscaglia – who taught an iconic class on love at USC for years, stressing the importance of forgiving our parents, for instance, and passionately advocating moving on and exploring all the alternative paths available to us in any situation.  Or we can base it on Gandhi’s understanding of eternal truths.  Or on the multiple and recognized themes in Jewish, Muslim and Christian religious belief and practice.  How we do it is irrelevant. We simply need to do it.

Israelis and Arabs have much to forgive each other for. At the most basic level, Arabs must forgive Israel and the Jews for their presence in the Holy Land, for their returning to their ancestral homeland and their tenacity in asserting their right to independence as the indigenous people of the land. And Israelis/Jews must forgive Arabs, and Palestinians in particular, for the century (more) of their violent hostility and opposition to the re-establishment, and existence, of that nation state for the Jews. Those are the essentials.

From there, the sky’s the limit: Israelis must forgive the Arabs for the wars and terror attacks which killed their children, and as Golda Meir said, for forcing their children to kill in return. Arabs must forgive Israelis for the injuries and deaths resulting from their defensive military operations, and for the difficulties engendered by Israeli rule over the disputed territories these past almost 60 years. Israelis must forgive the Arabs for their incitement against Jews and others, for their efforts to demonize Israelis and their leaders and Jews and to delegitimize Israel in the media, academia and international organizations. Arabs must forgive Israel for its early discrimination against its Arab, mostly Muslim minority, and for the animosity in Israeli society against the wider Arab world built up over years of conflict with its neighbors and attacks by Arab Muslims.

Forgiveness must take form, not only in internal perceptions and attitudes but in public expressions both verbal and cultural. The Parents Circle Family Forum is one example of concrete steps taken—in this case by relatives of those killed in terror attacks against Israelis and in Israeli military operations against terror—to move beyond acceptance to reach forgiveness, and to move beyond forgiveness to reach acceptance at a deeper level—personal, national, ideological, religious and historical.

Meaning and purpose – beyond the establishment of a “state” (or destroying Israel)

Having forgiven, and looking towards the future, the various possibilities open for such exploration have to be anchored in some set of overriding principles, leading to a goal or goals which make life worth living. Clearly for me each day on the Trail had a concrete, physical goal—to climb to the top of that mountain, to reach the destination planned for that day, to finish the Trail itself. And just as clearly, following my divorce I had new goals to set: getting my life ‘back on track’, finding my life’s partner, and various other personal aspirations relating to family, community, career and more.

Victor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, presents a framework within which nations too can aspire to have a purpose for existence, including creativity, relationships, and growth/change. Israel, it can be admitted, has always been a means to an end, an expression in modern times of the age-old mission of the Jews to make the world a better place. The Arab world, including the Palestinians, can and must turn to the future and establish the goals and aspirations which will motivate them to focus their efforts, inwards and outwards, on creating a better life for their citizens and for the world.

For the Jewish people – the people of Israel, having returned to sovereignty in their ancient homeland, the land of Israel, and established their modern nation-state of Israel – a similar combination of humility, acceptance and forgiveness (and gratitude) enabled a rededication to their shared values of the past millennia, namely, building an ethical and productive, mutually-supportive society, and bringing the moral message of the prophets to the world, now in a modern nation-state.  The sense of purpose inherent in Jewish tradition over 3500 years was augmented by the more recent commitment to creating a state for the Jews – ie. Zionism – and then helping to build or support and defend that newly-established (re-established) Jewish commonwealth since 1948.  And that idea of purpose permeates all aspects of Israeli society today, driving a diverse set of accomplishments from the world’s leading public health system to the celebrated “startup nation” innovation in technology and medical & agricultural science and many others to boot – not least promoting regional and international cooperation efforts.  All while under constant attack – military, diplomatic, media, academic and philosophical – from those who would deny her legitimacy and wish to destroy her physically.

This idea of a sense of purpose, when relating to the Arab-Israel conflict, might seem the most obvious element of a solution, and yet may well be the most difficult of all.  Many of the political, religious, educational and cultural leaders of the Arab and Muslim world have focused, over the past century and especially the last few decades, on one of two specific goals, which they relate to as expressions of the highest values of Muslim and Arab identity.  The first is the expansion and glorification of Islam as the revelatory endpoint of human development (and the primary component of Arab identity); the second is the destruction of Israel and subjugation of the Jews (and Christians, and all non-Muslims).  Both of these aims play a significant role in the rhetoric of a full return of Islam to supremacy, in the region and the world – and are echoed by the non-Arab proponents in Iran, Turkey and elsewhere.

October 7, 2024 (Hamas’ massacre carried out on the Shabbat celebration of Shmini Atzeret/Simhat Torah) came as a wake-up call as this article was being written; it only magnifies the points made here and the need for other voices in Arab and Muslim societies to be heard, listened to, amplified and encouraged.  Hamas’ rhetoric of hatred, violence, rejection and destruction, repeating these two aims, was parroted across the Muslim and Arab world, and not only by Salafi and Jihadist regimes like Iran and Hezbollah, ISIS and the Taliban, but by many mainstream affiliates of the Muslim Brotherhood and governments from Qatar and Yemen to Turkey and Iraq (some of which are “allies” of the US and the West) – and repeated, unfortunately, by many of their fellow-travelers on university campuses and parliaments, media outlets and religious institutions, around the world.

Yet there are a sizable number of moderate Muslim and Arab leaders who are taking the lead in seeking to inculcate a new set of goals for their people, based on traditional Muslim values and Arab culture.  Our future, and the peace of our region (and perhaps of the entire world), may depend on the result of their efforts.  The argument made here is that the twin goals of destroying Israel and broadening the reach, influence and power of Islam are incompatible with both resolving the Arab-Israel conflict and promoting the human, social and economic development of the people of the region, and must be replaced with other objectives – whether directly tied to the benefit of the people or of a more general nature.

A radical transformation of a culture of hatred into one of love; of a culture of intolerance into one of tolerance; of a culture of violence and war into a culture of peace, is a tall order.  So too is a radical conversion of a national enterprise focused on destroying another nation/people to one focused on building the foundations of responsible state-building. Even more so, a radical reformation of a religious identity based on the rejection of other religions to one based on the embrace of other faith communities.  And yet there are ample historical precedents for this sort of communal re-configuration.

At base, such a reformation must come from the people and leadership of the Arab and Muslim nations and communities in the area and across the planet.  An Israeli/American Jew will not effect such a momentous change.  The argument made here is compelling, if simple in its elegance: Without a re-orientation of the value system from destruction to building, from animosity to acceptance, from confrontation to peace, there will not be a resolution to the Arab-Israel conflict.  Such a revolution is possible, and can and should be encouraged and supported by all those interested in promoting peace in the region, including and especially the leaders of the free world and prominent western cultural, media and academic figures.

There is no point – in fact it is counter-productive, and promotes further war and conflict – to pretend that ‘negotiations’ over ceasefires or territory are of any use or help.  Only when the moderate and rational Arab and Muslim leaders actually lead their people on the path of peace will the more tangible aspects of conciliation be possible to pursue, from territorial agreements to issues of sovereignty, identity, economic relations and the like.  The thesis of this work is that a little humility and gratitude, and a great deal of acceptance and forgiveness, can lead to the emergence of national, religious and cultural goals compatible with peace.  The book currently in process is dedicated to elaborating these ideas, providing sources and references for diplomats and policy-makers to incorporate these themes into their approaches to the region and their efforts to help bring the Arab-Israel conflict to an end.

If the Arab world’s goals—and those of Palestinian society—are simply the establishment of an independent Palestinian state for its own sake, or, worse, for the sake of eliminating Israel; or if their goals are to create a Caliphate in the region and to establish hegemony over all the peoples of the area, then Israel, the West and Arab moderates will be forced to abandon not just this effort, but all efforts towards peace. They will remain in the defensive posture they have adopted since the early twentieth century, while praying for (and promoting and supporting) the emergence of more conciliatory and moderate leadership in Arab societies.

But if the Arab and Palestinian aim is to develop a vibrant society and economy, in peace with its neighbors; if they adopt the themes within Arab/Muslim culture which promote progress and coexistence, then the sky is the limit. Or, more fittingly, the ground has no limits, as issues of sovereignty and territory, borders and security virtually resolve themselves.

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There are many Arab, Muslim, and in particular Palestinian leaders who are on record as accepting Israel’s right to exist and the Jews’ connection to their ancestral homeland, advocating a Muslim/Arab version of tolerance and co-existence with the West. These men and women – like Mohammed Dajani of the “Wasatia” moderate Islamic movement – are the real future of peace in our region.

The individual and the nation with a (humble) sense of purpose has more motivation to forgive, more reason to be grateful, and greater incentive to accept historical and present reality—because he/she or they just want to get on with things, to achieve their goals.

It was true for me on the Trail; it is true for me in my life; it can be true for others seeking solace and direction, and it can be the foundation of real reconciliation here in the Middle East.  And there are real, practical applications of these principles which can be enacted, effectively, immediately.

The elements of these discoveries can form the basis for a breakthrough (or break-out) in what has become cynically known as the “peace-process industry”. We need to create a new vision for real peace, based on these parameters. It sounds simple; it may well be. We just need a fresh perspective, a new approach: a five-step path to Arab-Israel peace.

Humility; Acceptance; Gratitude; Forgiveness; Purpose—these five components, applied to regional realities, can be expanded to create a framework for practical steps for Israeli, Arab and international negotiators seeking to finally achieve the vision of the biblical prophets, revered by Jewish, Christian and Muslim faithful and by the Jewish and Arab nations over the years, and inscribed above the entrance to the UN:

“They shall beat their swords into plowshares,
and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war any more.” (Isaiah 2:2-5)

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