Four Words Can Change Everything

Did you know that the English language has four words that can magically turn almost every insult into a compliment?

The words are: “in a good way.”

“You’re crazy” becomes an insult, but add “in a good way” and you’ve just delivered one of the finest compliments.

“You’re a bad driver” sounds harsh. But say, “You’re a bad driver in a good way,” and suddenly you are calling them a terrific drivers.

(Of course, use this technique carefully. Telling your spouse “The dinner you made was inedible, in a good way” will likely earn you nothing but an eye roll!)

One of the most remarkable aspects about the Rebbe’s approach is how he found the “in a good way” in just about every seemingly negative story in the Torah.

Stories that seem to portray people as bad—the Rebbe finds a way to cast a positive light even on those characters, showing how their true motivation was good, even if their actions weren’t.

Here’s a beautiful example connected to our current period, the Three Weeks, when we mourn the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash, the holy Temple that stood in Jerusalem.
Among the many rooms in the Holy Temple was one used by the Kohen Gadol, the High Priest.

At first, it was called “the Chamber of Wood,” since it was built mainly out of wood, which was unusual in a Temple where most structures were made of stone.

Later, they added another name: “the Chamber of Parhedrin,” a Greek term for government officials who were replaced annually.

So why the name change? Simple—a change in personnel.

Originally, the High Priests were people of holiness and dignity. They lived long lives and were associated with trees that endured for generations.

But in the final years of the Second Temple, things fell apart. Corruption took over, and even the sacred role of the High Priest was being bought for money.

The situation became so dire that a new High Priest was needed every year, because on Yom Kippur, upon entering the Holy of Holies, the unworthy High Priest would die and have to be replaced. Hence the name “Parhedrin,” referencing officials who are replaced annually.

Sadly, this is a familiar theme in Jewish history.

But then the Rebbe comes along and adds “in a good way”—and everything changes.

Because it doesn’t make sense that the name of a chamber in the Holy Temple would exist to shame people, there must be a deeper, more positive message hidden here!

First, the Rebbe points out that those corrupt High Priests knew full well they would die on Yom Kippur. Yet they were still willing to risk their lives—and their money—to step into that role. Despite their moral failings, they yearned for that unique divine closeness experienced only in the Holy of Holies.

Second, the name “Parhedrin,” which highlights yearly turnover, can also hint at something beautiful. On Yom Kippur, the High Priest atoned for the sins of the Jewish people, granting them a fresh start.

So the name is hinting at something deeper: that on Yom Kippur, we all get to start fresh—as brand new people.

Thousands of years later, the message remains powerfully relevant. To always find the good in each person, to add “in a good way” whenever we can, and hopefully, we can add “in a good way” to this period of mourning, with the coming of Moshiach.