Dearest Zahara,
Sixteen. SIXTEEN. Ten years and six more since that first Gotcha Day. You landed in my arms your own person. Solid, Strong. LOUD. Cute, too. You arrived without much warning. Just a few days to process and prepare. Your appearance offered freedom from struggle to expand my family unit of one; freedom from doubt that I would be a mother; freedom from a hardened heart. It’s true. A thick, crusty shell surrounded my heart from the long and windy road to our meeting. Grief and struggle weigh heavy on the source of wisdom. Curiosity turns to questioning and judgment. Wide open spaces feel tight and narrow. Brambles and thorns clutter and obfuscate the path out of mitzrayim, the Egypt born of circumstance and choice and luck (good and bad).
Photo courtesy Lisa Gelber Gotcha Day #1
16 years ago, you freed me from a narrative that did not serve. You were like the holy one in that moment, speaking to Moshe – bo el Paro (Exodus 10:1) – come to Pharaoh, investigate his heart. Take up the invitation to sit in the muck and be in the frustration. Clear the path to embrace the obstacles. There you’ll find me and you will taste freedom.
The enormity of responsibility freed me from a dialogue that said, the story you long for will never be yours. Widening my stance, I grounded myself again in the gift of the unknown, the miracle of what is yet to be. Freedom is not just being free from something. Freedom calls us to do something. To go in search of something holy. To speak and strive. Your determined cry, enthusiastic approach to your bottle, and defining presence in the world served as the antidote to the hardened heart. Your presence reminded me (and still does) to see the good in the world, approach each day with imagination, and embrace even the smallest bud of potential.
Photo courtesy Lisa Gelber – Gotcha Day #16 Thanks to @FrostedbyNavah for the floral cupcakes
Zahara, as you – and we – celebrate 16 years of our joining together as family, I urge you to remember three important lessons
1. Embrace challenge. You are solid, strong, and steady. Don’t let self-doubt live rent free in your mind or your body.
2. Pay attention to your heart. Practice kindness and flexibility with yourself, just like you do for others.
3. Follow your dreams. Sitting in the status quo keeps you stagnant. Movement unearths amazement.
The seeds and sparks of what you need to live wisely, justly, courageously, and empathetically already exist within you. May your thirst for nourishment and your willingness to raise your voice keep you curious and connected. May your sweetness and radiance continue to serve as a salve for our broken world. May you know your power as a transformative agent of change.
Sweetest Sixteenth Gotcha Day xo – estimada ima
@RabbiLisaGelber
January 19, 2026/1 Shevat 5786
Day 836
About the Author
Lisa Gelber is rabbi, fierce mother, marathon runner, weaver, connector, spiritual director, breast cancer survivor, domestic violence advocate and PELOTON enthusiast. She holds an Executive Certificate in Facilitation from the Institute for Transformational Leadership at Georgetown University. Her journey to parenthood is profiled in the Emmy nominated documentary ALL OF THE ABOVE: Single, Clergy, Mother.
