Freedom from the Houthis this Pesach

Since the ceasefire fell apart a few weeks ago, the Houthis, whose name sounds more like the newest trend in plush toys than Iranian lackeys, are back to bombing Israel. While their aim and success rate are fortunately very unimpressive, the biggest problem is that the one thing they do well is choose the most inopportune times to fire their missiles at us. While there are actually no really good times to bomb innocent people, there are some times that are definitely worse than others. In the middle of the night during Shabbat or a holiday are such times, and they describe this weekend perfectly.

The matter of will they or won’t they try to bomb us this Shabbat or Pesach is out of our hands. What isn’t beyond our control is if you are expecting the Houthis to initiate a missile barrage at say 04:00 on the first day of Pesach, what should you wear to bed? 

At the beginning of the war people in the center of the country were rushing to their shelters whenever they heard the sirens, day or night. But since familiarity often breeds indifference, most people no longer spend their time anticipating incoming missiles. After more than five hundred days of war, there is a new normal in Israel. Our self preservation demands that we get back to our lives. With Pesach now mere hours away, we must prepare for the celebration of our freedom. Freedom, in this format, has a lot of demands: the four questions, the four glasses of wine, the four sons. Worrying about the Houthis, whose aim is getting worse and worse, is not our primary concern right now. 

We know that the missiles can come at any time, day or night, and you might be in the middle of any number of activities — sleeping, showering, cutting your toenails, putting the final touches on your brisket — when the sirens sound.

At the moment the siren begins, you have a few very quick and important decisions to make:

• Which of our Pesach guests are here?
• How will we all fit into the shelter with all of our non-Pesach items stashed there?
• How much do these people care if you are in a t-shirt and underwear?
• How much do you care if they care that you are in a t-shirt and underwear?
• If you have to find something to wear to the shelter, will you even get there in time for a possible direct hit on your location?
• Are you a gambling person?
• How much does it hurt if you don’t die immediately?
• Did you collect the mail?
• Is the stove off?
• Did Eliyahu come?
• And is he still here?

There is a positive correlation between the length of time the war has dragged on and the overall concern about such questions. After more than a year and a half without a direct Houthi hit, it’s easy to believe that you are a very lucky person destined for freedom.

However, the Houthis still have their impeccable (bad) timing. After an ad hoc survey conducted at a wedding in Zichron Yaakov earlier this week, female guests over the age of 60 agreed that one must be fully prepared — a.k.a. totally dressed — for every eventuality. The ad hoc survey showed that men of a comparable age felt completely different. They were oblivious to the potential fashion faux pas and thought that being caught unaware in a t-shirt and underwear almost any time of the day was just fine, Houthis or no Houthis.

If the Houthis continue to have their missiles land in Saudi Arabia or if the United States succeeds in blowing them to smithereens, then dressing for them may not be  necessary. At least you will be able to shower, cut your toenails, and enjoy your Seder without the Houthis’ involvement. That would be real freedom.