From the Heart

Before I begin, let me introduce myself.  I live in Canada, clearly not the most informed country on middle-eastern affairs and clearly led by a hopeless leader who encourages open borders giving terrorists a cozy welcome.  Needless to say, I’m no longer a proud Canadian as I witness our current government do very little to stop the upsurge of antisemitic riots.

I am Jewish. My grandparents came to Canada when the pogroms began in Poland.  The towns they lived in no longer exists and I could not even find them with Google’s help. (Wolkowisk and Slonim)

I went to Hebrew school for eight years which enabled me to read Hebrew and speak a very small amount, however,    שכחתי הכל

The reason I share all of this, is that on October 7th, 2023, I became aware of a very powerful realization; my connection with both my Jewishness and the country of Israel was much stronger than I imagined.  I felt utter and complete devastation as  I awoke to the news of the most  horrific transgressions against my fellow Jews

I have never been to Israel but it remains a dream to this day.  I don’t hold a great deal of hope, for as the years pass I become increasingly neurotic around flying long distances.  Jewish Neurosis, it should be in the DSM.  The thing I love about Israel is that it is the home of the Jews.  We need and deserve a place we can call home and feel safe.

I would say I am a woman of slightly above average intelligence.  I have a creative brain but am also quite logical. If I see the colour blue, I can say, ‘this is the colour blue’ and know it to be true!’

So, as a Jew, who lives far from the Middle East, I decided to educate myself around the continued attacks upon Israel from Islam extremists, Hamas, Hezbollah, IRGC and more.

The first thing I began observing was the absolutely twisted rhetoric coming from the media. It was completely baffling.  Suddenly they were claiming blue was red?

This Oct 7th attack was brutal and horrific.  Twelve hundred innocent Jews and non-Jews, civilians,  were raped and slaughtered.  Babies burned, young women dismembered  after being raped and the abduction of 250 hostages. Such horrors were beyond anything I could possibly imagine.  Adding insult to injury, Gaza’s citizens were dancing in the treats, spitting on and kicking hostages and continuing to loot homes in Israel.

Pause for deep breath.

After years of smaller attacks this was the most genocidal of them all.  Israel finally realized it was imperative to fight back and rid itself of the rodents of Hamas- for the sake of survival. Rodents feels appropriate with over 350 miles of underground tunnels discovered, designed specifically for the purpose of attacking and annihilating the Jews and Israel.

As Israel began fighting a war to save their country, their lives and all of our Jewish legacy, the world began to attack Israel??

Here’s where I really began to lose my mind.

I mean, blue is blue and this kind of attack means war…right?

This response from the mainstream media was one I think many of us Jews around the world took extremely personally.  It smelled of antisemitism. We wondered…where were the women’s groups’ outrage?  Where was the understanding of Israel’s pain and absolute justified retaliation?  How could the world not understand the country’s need to shut down this Terrorist faction?  Suddenly groups around the world were defending Hamas?  I don’t think any of us had the slightest inclination that this amount of Jew hatred was still possible.  My world, as a Jew, became much smaller.

People I called friends suddenly saw themselves as experts on Gaza and Israel, sentencing Israel as the big bad wolf and Gaza the poor sheep (In Hamas wolf’s clothing).  Could they not see the psychological warfare Hamas was exerting?

Perhaps…they just did not want to see what was blatantly in front of them.  Again, this smelled of antisemitism.

The divisiveness of the world began to take shape right in front of my eyes, or maybe…my eyes were simply, just opening.

I continued to closely monitor the war in Israel, with constant prayers for the hostages, the families of the hostages and the incredibly brave young IDF soldiers fighting to save their country.

As time passed, I began to notice a new split in the fabric of our world continuum; The right VS the left.

This was happening everywhere, my country Canada, the United States, and across Europe and Israel.  What I was witnessing was not pretty.

Never a truly radical student of politics, I found myself becoming more and more educated in such matters.  I listened to the right. I listened to the left.   I’ve always seen myself as a fairly liberal minded sort, however, the left was making less and less sense to me and the conservative perspective was becoming more rational and I would even go as far as to say it felt safer.  My brain, as I mentioned, creative but also strong in critical thinking. The right, felt…right. Certainly not in every way, but in ways that mattered.

The American left leadership was putting all sorts of restraints, threats and sanctions upon Israel on the one hand, while claiming to be Israel’s so-called greatest ally’ on the other.  With this kind of friendship, I thought, who needs enemies.

Then I became more and more ensconced in Israeli politics…fascinating as they are with the Knesset and the Plenum.  I read about and listened to podcasts on the Bibi haters, the calls for two state solutions from the left alongside accusations of who was to blame for the war.  I realize news is meant to incite-it was succeeding.    My head? A ball of confusion.

Something became clear to me.  As I researched articles about Islamic Jihad, listened to interviews of people living in repressive regimes, and noted the attacks of the past 76 years by Hamas and other Jihadi factions upon Israel.  A two-state solution would be the end of Israel.  I’m not saying I have any answers, I am merely an observer of obvious fact.  Blue is blue. 

I also see a country that is fractured.  In this division, it became vulnerable to one of the worst attacks in the history of the Jewish people.  I see a country, a democracy, that voted for it’s prime minister while a significant amount of the left are invested in blaming him and removing him  from power while the war continues.  I’m saddened by what I see happening within Israel.  How can a country so internally split continue to survive? It’s one thing to fight attacks form the outside, but how does one heal so many fractures from within?

Surviving trauma is actually something I know about.  I will not go into details, but I assure you I have seen and lived things that no child should experience.  My survival has been dependent upon my understanding of what I can and can’t control.

I can take ownership of my perspective, I can bring kindness into my life, but I remain clear about people who might threaten my peace of mind. They are held at arm’s length.

If I sit and point my finger outside of myself- it was him, it was her, it was them…I will never heal.  His fault, her fault, their fault…it does not matter.  One can become inflamed with blame.  It will never lead to healing,    I want to see Israel thrive, to become the land of milk and honey it once was.  Have power and politics really overtaken the soul of this once beautiful strong nation?

I will continue to pray for the release of the hostages, their families, and the safety of all the IDF soldiers.  I agree with Netanyahu, the enemy must be held accountable. Whatever imperfection he may be accused of, his job is an extremely difficult one and I see him as a man who wants to protect his country.

I will continue to pray, with all of my heart, that Israel pulls together politically and shows the strength of this nation.

We must show acceptance of differences and terrorism has to be eliminated.

It feels like an oxymoron, acceptance, yet non-acceptance.

And as a Jew, I leave you with a question;

How do we create a better world?