We’re good enough to die for our country – but not to marry in it

One of the most dangerous phenomena we have witnessed over and over again these past three years in Israel is this government’s repeated attempts to shift the goalposts, to try to make acceptable in word and in deed what was once unimaginable in a proudly Jewish and democratic state.

This government has introduced into our lives a whole new set of extreme and simply unacceptable notions whose normalization risks our future as a democracy, from Yariv Levin and his friends’ push to fire those who uphold law and order, undermine our judicial system, and outright ignore binding court decisions to Itamar Ben Gvir’s attempts at politicizing the police to Shlomo Karhi’s work towards a media takeover.

Opposing these is core to our work as the opposition in the Knesset. And as of today, the attorney general remains in her job, the Supreme Court’s decisions are being upheld, Ben Gvir’s attempts to politicize the police are facing major legislative and legal roadblocks, and Karhi’s media takeover remains stalled in committee.

But amidst the chaos, as this government tries to shift the goalposts and bring us deeper and deeper into darker and darker territory, we cannot forget some of the original inequities that should never have been normalized in this country in the first place. These inequities used to sit at the heart of our political discourse, but given the new forms of insanity this government has brought to bear, they have unfortunately been pushed to the back burner in the public discourse.

Putting these issues front and center once again isn’t just the right thing to do. It’s crucial because, as this government shows the public what its radical vision for Israel is (and they don’t like it), we in the opposition have to show our vision for a thriving, liberal Jewish and democratic state that’s a welcoming home for every Jew.

One of these inequities is that too many Israelis cannot marry in the country where they were born. I am one of them. I cannot marry in the country I served proudly in the army, to which I pay taxes, and in which I serve as an elected official.

We are all proud of Israel’s Jewish heritage. Israel was created to be and must always remain a Jewish state. Every Jew who chooses to marry through the Rabbinate should be able to do so. Nobody would ever suggest that anyone be able to impose their beliefs on clergy or to tell them how to do their jobs.

However, members of the LGBT community like myself, many secular Israelis, and many immigrants from the former Soviet Union cannot ignore what amounts to ongoing religious coercion by the Rabbinate that denies them the right to marry in their own country, that tells them they are good enough to pay taxes, and good enough to serve and die for their country… but not good enough to marry in it.

Recently, I put a simple piece of legislation before the Knesset: those who wish to marry through the Rabbinate can do so. Those who wish to marry through a civil process can do so. Everyone can choose for themselves. Of course, the coalition defeated this legislation. I had no illusions it would do otherwise, especially since the Likud, a once liberal party, has become nothing but a vehicle for its coalition partners – Smotrich, Ben Gvir, and the ultra-Orthodox parties – to implement a religious agenda that even many voices in the religious Zionist world find to be extreme.

But let’s be clear. The majority of Israelis are with us on the issue of marriage (67 percent according to a 2024 poll by Hiddush, including 68% of Likud voters and even 41%(!) of Ben Gvir’s voters) and on a whole host of other similar issues.

We are entering a pivotal election year, and it isn’t enough for us to talk about what we’re against and the dangerous steps we’ve successfully blocked. We have to show that there is truly a different vision for running this country, one where every Israeli can have an equal share in our one big Israeli story. Serving in the army. Working and paying taxes. And yes, having the freedom to marry who they love in the country they call home.