‘HaYom Kamti… Todah Elohim’

On Wednesday night, February 5^th, my wife and I arrived in Israel and attended the Hanan Ben Ari concert at the Menora Arena in Tel Aviv. For most of the past 17 months, since October 7, the songs of Hanan Ben Ari have played in our school. Our students learned the words and performed his songs weekly.

The week before the concert, Hanan released a new song with words that I have found to be extremely powerful. The words, Hayom Kamti Sameach. Todah Elohim. Today, I awoke happy. Thank you, God. These words, which I shared with staff at our school, were immediately recognized as a prayer rather than simply a song.

Hanan performed the song for the first time that night, sitting at a piano directly in front of me. I sang along to every word, praying along with thousands of others in the arena. It’s strange in my mind to watch someone else pray. But there is something powerful about being surrounded in prayer by so many. We were enveloped. Next to us was a young Russian Israeli couple. He was not wearing a Kippah and spoke with us prior to the concert about how inspirational Hanan’s music is. On the other side of us were three Chasidim with long payot. All were singing. All were praying together. We became a Kehilla Kedosha, a holy community.

This morning, Thursday, February 20, I hoped I would wake up happy. I couldn’t. And yet, I still could utter the words Todah Elohim, but they felt heavier today than they had for much of the past 503 days.

For over 25 years, I have dedicated my life to children as a professional educator, a husband, and a father. I have worked in Jewish Day Schools, summer camps, and youth groups, and with my wife, I have helped raise my own three amazing sons. All of which hit me like a ton of bricks when I woke up this morning to look at the news on my phone. I knew something would be off, yet I held out hope.

It has been hard for me to look at images of the Bibas family over these last 503 days. I scrolled past them. And there are a lot of them. Friends, Jewish communal organizations, and leaders have been posting regularly so that the world will see their faces. I have struggled to look at their faces. Now, I cannot look away.

While the world awaits forensic evidence, we know the truth. We have seen the videos, the still images, the personal accounts of the atrocities of the savages who stole this family from their home, who stole 251 people into Gaza, who murdered over 300 people at a music festival, over 400 soldiers, and countless innocent Israeli citizens. We know what happened. And yet, we held out hope. We prayed. We thank God when our hostages have come home alive. And today, we still must say Todah Elohim.

I cannot fathom how this beautiful family could be stolen from their homes. I could not imagine that another human being would do such things to children. As much as I have not wanted to read, as much as I have tried to imagine a world filled with love, HaYom Kamti Atzuv v’Shavur, I woke up sad and broken.

We must all come together, no matter our differences, whether religious, political, or socio-economic. We are all broken. But things that are broken must be put back together. Even at this moment, Todah Elohim, Todah Elohim, Thank you, God.