Holding Onto Dignity When the World Forgets It

I am aghast at the utter loss of human dignity we have witnessed in recent weeks. Today, Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas were buried. Throughout history, different traditions and communities have held varying understandings of how to maintain dignity after death—different practices, rituals, and standards. Yet, there had always been a universal agreement that the dead deserve respect. That sacred norm has now been shattered.

Judaism has long placed immense importance on kavod hamet—honoring the dead. It is not just a value but a deeply ingrained responsibility. The process of caring for the deceased, the mourning rituals, and the ways in which we comfort the bereaved are all designed to ensure that those who have passed are treated with dignity and that their loved ones have a structured way to grieve, cope, and find meaning amid their pain. Through working with JADE (Jewish Association for Death Education), I have come to appreciate the richness of these traditions and the way they offer solace in times of immeasurable loss.

But what is the opposite of kavod hamet? Is there a name for it? Hillul hamet? Desecration of the dead? Is it even worth naming? Since October 7, we have been engulfed in a deep, searing pain—for people we never met but whose loss has forever altered us. We have writhed in anguish as we heard, saw, and felt the horrors—the grotesque violations of human dignity that defy comprehension. What could compel someone to strangle a toddler? To murder a baby? To parade the coffin of a man who had dedicated his life to peace and to saving the lives of Palestinians—only for his own life to be cut short by torture, solitude, and murder?

Who could have imagined a world where coffins are stuffed with propaganda materials? Where decorated caskets become part of a macabre spectacle, a perverse marketing campaign, complete with music, banners, and onlookers celebrating the desecration? What does the opposite of kavod hamet look like? It looks like mutilated bodies being pelted with rocks to distort forensic evidence. It looks like the parading of murdered children. It looks like the grotesque deception of passing off one body as another to spread terror and confusion.

Because of Hamas, we now have a chillingly clear manual on how to desecrate the dead.

And yet, today, we saw the opposite. Today, we saw what it means to honor the dead. To cherish them. To grieve for them. To love them. To remember them. To stand with their families and hold them in their sorrow. We saw the outpouring of love and reverence for Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas as they were finally laid to rest. We saw a people united in their mourning, refusing to let barbarism strip them of their humanity.

This is what it means to be a people who honor the dead. And this is what it means to be a people who honor life.