Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews -- For those who like their news and truths frank and sharp

Hoping that crooks first hurt (kill or violate) themselves?

Of course, it’s not simple to create comedy about gruesome things, like rape or mass murder. But it’s the job of comedians to find ways to have people laugh about absurd aspects of life, including evil, so they’ll try.

The Netherlands has a wide and beautiful tradition in comedy, as I reported before. It seems that Dutch jokes are often less vulgar than those of the Brits but more provocative than US jokes.

Last Sunday night, the most satirical Dutch TV program (Zondag met Lubach) at the most free-thinking Dutch network (VPRO) tried its hand at the Weinstein accusations-initiated avalanche of sex scandal revelations.

It presented an upbeat song advocating several verses long: If she doesn’t want, he should retreat and self-gratify. One guy even sang to a horny one: otherwise marry me. The studio audience loved it. So many years after secularization of most of the Netherlands from strict Calvinism, any mentioning of sex is still experienced as tremendously liberating. (Many of modern Dutch comedians have a foul tongue.)

Now, as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t think that masturbation is an innocent harmless past-time. NB: I base this on psychological reasons, not on religious dogma or superstition, and I’m against preaching guilt or asceticism. Solo-sex addicts and it alters sexuality from attaching deeply to someone else into a solo trip, enlarging isolation and craving for sex. It distorts, reduces a deed of giving and receiving to an attempt to take.

It is definitely better to hurt yourself than someone else, but I still wouldn’t advocate self-flagellation as alternative. Even not as a joke.

More fundamentally, the jolly joke reiterates the misunderstanding that sexual violence would be caused by oversexed-ness. Rather, it’s aggression, overpowering people. The solution is not “a lesser sex drive,” but rather: “more respect and protection for weaker people.”

Rape is an act of grabbing; and so is solo-sex, as I mentioned above.

After yet another mass shootings, in which the murderer ends up killing himself, I often thought: They should change the order of things: first kill themselves. That would prevent a lot of heartache. But also that is not the alternative to strive for.

And jokes that hurt the victims are per definition unethical and uncouth.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He makes his readers laugh, and be mad, and think he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500th blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To find his earlier blog posts on a certain subject XXX, among his over 1200 ones, go to the right-top corner of the Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". His second daily active less tame blog, to which one may subscribe, one may find here: or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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