Jonas Amir Kadah
Happiness never decreases from being shared.

How to make the best Pizza in the world, nachon?

A sacred pizza. Photo credit: Jonas Kadah 2020.
A sacred pizza. Photo credit: Jonas Kadah 2020.

What better way to break a fast or just have a delicious dinner to share with friends than this? Gordon Ramsay, Jamey Oliver & Eyal Shani – pfff, let’s go!

The recipe is as follows and will provide you with 4 italian-size pizzas enough for 4 people:

2,5 dl finger-warm water, 10g fresh yeast, sourdough, any amount of Israeli olive oil (I’ll explain later why),  an arrogant pinch of salt and an arrogant pinch of sugar. And yes – you need flour, the only acceptable flour is TIPO-00 Italian pizza flour – or else you’re out of the game. There is no rule to how much flour you need, but it should turn into a dough and not a slime-party for your kids or grandkids.

For topping use tomatoes, REAL mozzarella (no shredded cheese) and Parmaggiano Reggiano 36 months.

For optimum perfection, pull the mozzarella apart as shown above. Don’t just tear it into pieces. This is a matter of love and passion. Photo Credit: Jonas Kadah 2020.

What do you need?

A pair of hands, a bowl, a bread-showel, a bad-ass oven, a pizza-stone, some alcohol when waiting and common sense.

Turn on the oven on MAXIMUM. Full heat, mine goes to 325 degrees celsius, for this to happen I have to put it in the special Shabbat-mode as displayed in the picture below – only then the oven will perform double up and count as a pizza oven.

S stands for Shabbat-mode, or Super-mode. However, it gives your oven superpowers. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020

Insert the pizza stone into the middle or lower part of the oven as displayed below, dont mess it up. It should be straight, not leaning, not standing, not upside down. Just put it in the middle of everything (like Jerusalem) and you’re good to go.

Pizza stone calibrated to optimum perfection in the oven. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

So, time to make sure you have running water in your tap which is finger-warm (or is it luke-warm?) If you don’t have running water I strongly suggest you go and buy some water at your Supermarket. A liter should do, the rest of your shekels you invest in whisky, beer or a Vaipolicella Ripasso superiore from 2014. No Amarone.

1. Add 2,5 dl of tap water into a bowl. Remember it has to be about body-heat temperature. Luke-warm, finger-warm. Whatever you want to call it. Photo Credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

If you add cold water = no dough. If you add too hot water = no dough. If you add correct temperatured water = dough. OK?

Now, for step number 2. Add the rest of the ingredients except the flour, mix with a spoon until everything is completely disolved.

Step 3 is super-easy, add the flour. Start with a decent amount and stirr with you spoon until it becomes creamy. Then add about the same amount again and it will magically turn into a dough. If you use a KitchenAid or any other form of mechanical tool you’re  disqualified. The only exception to this rule is if you have no hands or have any sort of hand problems. After some dough-making with your hands, shape the dough into a big football, sprinkle with flour let it rest for one hour.

Tadaaaaa!

Look at that dough. Love it. Admire it. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

Now, just empty the bowl by turning it upside down on some pre-flowered surface as displayed above and below.

Is’nt it a piece of art, then I don’t know what Mona Lisa is. Photo Credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

Shape it. Don’t forget to be gentle just like you are in real life.

Shape it into this. Photo Credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

Time to use your eye measurement skills by cutting it into even pieces. Those who use a kitchen-scale will be subjected to the mercy of the Pizza Assoziaone Italiano (PIA), from what I heard they take you to Sicilly and you have to attend a Pizza course until Italian so-so perfection is achieved.

Bring out your japanese samurai sword from IKEA and cut the dough evenly according to the recipee. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.
The result of cutting a dough into pieces. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.
This is how you roll the ball, shape it with your hands by bending the dough in opposite direction each time until it’s a ball. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.
Israeli olive oil tapped into a deluxe high-quality container. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

You have to roll the dough by pinching and turning it in opposite directions until a ball is formed, no other method is allowed. The more Israeli olive oil you add to this recipe, the easier it will be to do this. So be generous. Now why Israeli? Because atleast I have olive trees which produce olive oil only an Italian could dream of. If you don’t have an olive tree and the means to process olives – you must go to the nearest olive oil emergency center and bunker up.

By now you should have your balls ready. Dip them into the Tipo-00 flour, cover with whatever you have – an old T-shirt will do. Let it rest for another hour. And don’t forget if you use any other flower the PIA will notice this and come looking for you.

Balls are ready. Note that I did a tripple size dough, therefore there are more balls displayed here than in the recipe. Photo credit: Jonas Kadah 2020.
Cover the balls with something and let them rest for another hour. Photo credit: Jonas Kadah 2020.

Now comes the lazy part, just wait. Drink something, socialize, listen to Revivo Project, whatever you’re up to.

So it’s time for some real pizza action. This is what and how you do it.

Start with shaping your ball into something that looks like a car-tire. Photo Credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.
Work with both of your hands, don’t stretch the dough yet. But press out the air to the sides, beginning from the middle. Repeat until you have something round as a wheel. Photo Credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020
Now start slowly and gently pulling and stretching the dough to optimum perfection. Leave a nice sized crust of course or your oven will turn into Chernobyl Reactor 4. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

Finally it should look like this, otherwise you have failed and have to eat a failed pizza. Which is equally good, size and shape does’nt matter on food, animals or humans.

Ready! Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.
Add tomato sauce by adding a decent amount in the middle, and start spreading it out in circles. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.
Add the cheese. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.
Insert into oven and let it feel the heat of your Shabbat-power. Photo credit: Jonas Kadah 2020.
It should like a bit brownish under. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020

Finally! Shredd some high quality Parmigiano Reggiano and enjoy the best pizza in the world.

The best pizza in the world. Phtoto Credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

Issues to deal with:

Some people want to put ingredients on top of their pizza, like olives, tuna, onion, artichokes or whatever. Those are not your friends. They are enemies of the true pizza. Below is an example of a person who insisted on adding more ingredients and by doing that destroying the pizza. Don’t be like that person. Be a good person.

Sacred pizza destroyed by non-believers. Photo credit: Jonas Amir Kadah 2020.

As you might notice, this recipe is done by italian standards – that means that every ingredient can be of any amount. It really does’nt matter and it does’nt have to be precise. It’s kind of an art really. And it’s more – it’s a really nice way to share dinner with a lot of people, it’s cheap to make, it’s easy to do and it’s a great change from the way you break your fast or just eat dinner. 

Final notes about the PIA, beware of them – follow the instructions above and you should be fine. Upload your best pizza pic and let’s compare – I challenge you to make a tastier pizza than this.

Kind regards,

Jonas Amir Kadah

Amateur pizza maker and educated pizzaiolo in my early years of life.

About the Author
Jonas is a fierce critiqeuer of everything unjust. He is well-educated, well-travelled and believes firmly in pragmatism and progressiveness rather than religion and outdated conservatism. He dares to challenge anyone or anything and is super-tired of racial slurs and internet trolls. Jonas loves travelling, languages, cultures and wine. Also Whisky. His favorite destination can be a Berlin club or the Italian district of Vaipolicella. He labels himself as liberal and if not agnostic, then atheist.
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