Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

How to ‘pamper’ a romance scammer

If you have very little time, watch the above, masterly clip rather than reading the rest of my post.

I placed a comment under a YouTube clip and someone commented on my comment with name and surname, looking for love from someone like me. Please write to: Gmail address. I mailed the person, asking: Why me? My comment was nothing special and I surely didn’t say much about me.

The answer was stunning. First of all, my question “why me” was ignored. Giant red flag! Then I got a sob story of an RC member of the clergy, dumped by the church in an African warzone as punishment for having an affair at home. They must have concluded that my Jewish surname made it likely I would believe this and feel for this person.

My correspondent was in mortal danger, missed the former love and home, and was so glad to have found me. The funniness continued. Added were pictures of the person in full uniform — a bit older than was claimed. The pictures clearly came from Facebook but without an account address. O, and I forget to mention the surname: Future. Not my future it would be.

What was going on? I asked Gmail for the IP address that the email was sent from. The address turned out from a known scammer who’s been extorting fast sums of money for seven years at least, from many unsuspecting souls around the globe. Luckily, I had formerly seen the above clip on how to keep these people busy. And that’s what I did.

But I added to the program one more point. I didn’t just react to their script. I changed direction. So, when the scammer started talking about gold bars and the gold market (No doubt stumbled upon them and needed some funds from me to send them to me), I said: stress must have cracked you. You’re talking to me about gold? Have you gone mad? You need help. Look at your English. Is this your first language? Are you dyslectic? Nothing against mental patients or dyslectics, of course. I call it: messing up the script. Before they write to you, they have a whole script ready. The more you frustrate that, the more time and effort they need to waste on you.

The scammer volunteered actually having been raised in South Africa with so many languages. I told them that I know Whites from SA and that their English is impeccable. That learning Afrikaans too had only enhanced their language skills. You must have gone mentally sick. Please check with a doctor. And I went on and on how I prayed for a speedy recovery, etc.

I once read that such scammers purposely use such terrible English, to ward off people who are too precise. People who don’t look at syntaxes so clearly, those are the best, the easiest to fool.

I received another sob story from this person so instantaneously in love with me. Father, mother, and only sib found untimely deaths. You get the picture. Someone deserted by the (RC) community with no living relatives.

The last sob story they sent me was of an African prince murdered, his wife dying after religious lessens by my hero and leaving my lovebird with gold bars, now needing my help to get them out of the country for a fresh new start in life. I remarked that a violation of the vows of celibacy is understandable (the flesh is weak), but violating the vows of chastity is not. That all the gold should be sent to me immediately. Nice try, but that unleashed an antisemitic rant, with curses of death!

They may be trying to scam the elderly ruthlessly for money, but hate speech is definitely not bringing in any profit. From this, we see that the scammers are not just coldhearted thieves but also motivated by hatred.

The TED-talk teaches that by keeping them engaged (40+ messages), they can’t bother, scam more victims. I’m sorry I couldn’t stretch it any longer.

The scammer gets from me 100 for creativity and 0 for saintliness. Always when targeted, ask yourself: Why me? And when you ask that question, the answer most likely is: Because I am the next sucker to be tested.

Of course, I reported the scammer to Gmail. It is unclear to me why, after already at least 7 years of scamming, they’re still not in jail.

Unfortunately, I can’t share any of the pictures because they’re all from innocent individuals who have nothing to do with this scamming attempt.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500th blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * NEW: To see other blog posts by him, his overspill blog you can reach by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture at the head of every post. There you may find precursors to later TOI blog posts, addition or corrections of published TOI blog posts, blog posts the TOI will not carry, and some thoughts that are too short to be a TOI blog post. Also, the TOI only allows for one blog post per blogger per 24 hours. Sometimes, he has more to say than that. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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