How We Bless

The way Jacob blesses his grandkids in this week’s portion of Torah tells us all we need to know about something important: how positive change can happen. 

The grandchildren’s names signify negative and positive influences. Joseph names Menasha for all the negative things and bad people he had to overcome. By contrast, Ephraim is named for the opportunities and positive potential that the future holds in store (Gen. 41:51-52). Why then does Jacob bless them in reverse order, placing the positive ahead of the negative (Gen. 48:20)? 

First we need to realize a couple of things about how we relate to negative and positive things. Negative thoughts loom large. Huge, actually. Even beyond what bleeds leads or negative political campaigns that exploit division, one 2005 Study revealed that 80% of a day’s thoughts for the average person are negative. Negativity is such a formative force. It can’t be trivialized. But if you want to make good things happen, pushing back against the negative must be coupled with pulling toward the positive. And here’s the key: Jacob puts the positive first.

Consider Shabbat celebration. All kinds of rules of what you shouldn’t do exist in order to make way for things you should do, like enjoy longer meals, go for walks, visit with friends, sing, learn, and rest. Mark Gerson amplifies this point when he reflects on the success of the 1970s campaign to stop smoking. He notes a subtlety in how the negative and the positive worked together. “The (negative) messaging was never directed against smokers. It was always directed against smoking” (P. 325). This permitted a positive appraisal of all the smokers’ potential, all they had to live for, to go alongside the danger-warnings. 

If any of your 2026 resolutions relate to positive change – in your own behavior and in the troubling behaviors of others – consider Jacob’s formula: put positive first because negative is foremost. 

You can point out how diminished industries get by pandering to hate-mongers. But you can lead with your certainty that those who pander are, at their core, such better and worthier people. 

This is how we bless children tonight and at every Shabbat evening table. Jacob’s blessing (for boys) “May God bless you as Ephraim and Menashe” stands alongside the merit of our Matriarchs (for girls). May Jacob’s adroit approach to challenging the negative by leading with the positive inspire a more blessed 2026.