I am sad and heartbroken

I Am Sad and Heartbroken: The Cost of Loving Israel

I am sad and heartbroken.

The day has come. A day I always feared, but never believed would become reality in a country I once called free, tolerant, and just. Today, I was asked to hide who I am. To silence my voice. To erase my truth. Why? Because I openly love Israel.

I am heartbroken and defeated.
Not because of a political disagreement. Not because of a debate or ideological clash. But because simply expressing love and support for the Jewish state, my love for Israel, has become dangerous, controversial, and, apparently, unacceptable in the Netherlands.

Today I was asked by my new employer, where I start to work on assignment through a detachment agency soon, to hide my LinkedIn profile. “It might upset people,” they said. People might get offended by my strong, visible support for Israel. A country that, despite its flaws like every other, stands for democracy, LGBTQ+ rights, women’s rights, freedom of speech, and rule of law. A country that holds its people & soldiers accountable for (war) crimes. A country that, unlike its enemies, actively tries to protect civilians during war.

But apparently, if you wear a headscarf, that fits within a company’s values of diversity and inclusion. If you support Hamas rhetoric, you’re welcomed in protests and embraced by activists. But if you openly identify as a Zionist, a supporter of Israel, or, God forbid, just a Jew who dares to speak truthfully, you’re told to step aside, to hide.

I am sad and heartbroken.

This isn’t just about me. It’s about what’s happening around us. The Netherlands, my home, is slowly sliding back into the darkest shadows of its past. That chilling era when people looked away, when neighbors stayed silent, when truth was buried under fear. We bowed once before to a fascist regime that hunted Jews. And now, the hunting season has quietly reopened, this time, with hashtags, cancel culture, and corporate HR departments doing the dirty work.

I try to fight back, respectfully but firmly. I try to share the truth, to counter the lies and dangerous propaganda spreading like wildfire on social media. Lies that portray Israel as a colonial oppressor, a genocidal monster, the source of all global misery. I see how quickly people forget what happened on October 7th. The massacre. The rape. The beheadings. The burning of families in their homes. The abduction of babies and the elderly. People forget that the war could end today, today, if Hamas returned the remaining hostages and laid down arms.

But global amnesia has set in. And so I’m told to hide. Because I support Israel, I am unwelcome in spaces that claim to champion human rights. That’s the absurdity of today’s world: a singer like Douwe Bob can cancel a performance and disappoint hundreds of Jewish children, and is then rewarded with airtime to preach his ignorance. Meanwhile, chants for the genocide of Jews, “From the river to the sea”, echo freely in the streets of Amsterdam, unpunished, unchecked, even praised by some as “freedom of expression.”

But when I speak up,when I simply refuse to apologize for my Jewish identity and my Zionism, I am the problem. I must hide.

I am sad and heartbroken.

Because I am not someone who gives up easily. It’s not in my nature to surrender or be silenced. But I’m also a human being. I need a job. I need to feed my family. And so I must comply. I must take down my profile. I must erase a part of myself.

It goes against everything I believe in. It is humiliating. It is unjust. It is terrifying.

There was a time when people said “never again.” But that time has passed. “Never again” is now. And we are failing. Again.

Maybe I should ask for political asylum in Israel. Maybe it’s the only place left where I don’t have to lie about who I am. Maybe it’s the only place where I don’t have to be afraid to say: I love Israel.

Until then, I hide. I fake. I whisper. But inside, I scream. And I write this to say one last thing, to anyone who still dares to listen:

I am sad and heartbroken.
But I am not ashamed.
And I will never stop loving Israel.