Mort Laitner
Mort Laitner

I Got The QAnon Blues or This Ain’t Good News For The Jews Blues

I sat on my couch staring at my Google assistant.

“What type of music should I ask for?”

My ears begged for some rhythm & blues.

My heart ached for some sad song.

A song that would shake my emotional core.

Some Ike and Tina, some Marvin Gaye, some Gladys Knight & the Pips, some Etta James or some Al Green.

Some “What’s Going On,” some “Let’s Stay Together,” some “At Last,” or some “Midnight Train to Georgia.”

“Hey Google, please play some R&B for me.”

“Here’s a blues song you may enjoy,” she replied.

I waited and wondered:

“What song would Google choose for me?

Were the Feds tracking my song selections?

And who selects the songs I listen too?”

The song broke into my questioning mind.

I got a really bad case of the QAnon blues,

Ya know, this ain’t good news for the Jews.

Q haters running all over the place.

Not gonna be good for the Jewish race.

Posts preaching the Protocols and the blood libels galore.

Q  followers are neo-Nazis all the way to their core.

Pepe the frog and anti-semitic tropes,

Feed the brains of these alt-right dopes.

 45 is fully on board,

Wearing #17 has me floored.

But even out of office, 45 ain’t quittin’

He’s hooked on conspiracies and that ain’t fittin’

No surprises flowing out of  the mouth of this nitwit,

Q supporters enjoy eating all of his s—.

Q has many ambitious goals,

Getting bigots to fall in rabbit holes.

The QAnon asylum run by anti-Semitic quacks,

Jews you better prepare to cover your backs.

I remember hearing this tune before,

I remember seeing the bloody gore.

Another “great awakening,” another “storm” that passed

So Jews prepare to fight, pray and  fast,

Cause I think this crisis is gonna last.

I got the QAnon blues,

Ain’t gonna be good news for the Jews.

I jumped off of the couch and screamed at my assistant, “Hey Google, stop playing this frightening  crap.”

“Silence!”

“Hey Google, that sounded a lot more like rap than the blues.”

I sat back down, my ears and brain begged, “Please request something less traumatic—less sad—less frightening.”

“Hey Google, please play some klezmer for me.”


Point of reference: Q is the 17th letter in the alphabet.

About the Author
Florida's Jewish short-story writer, speaker, film producer and retired attorney. He has authored, "A Hebraic Obsession", "The Hanukkah Bunny" and "The Greatest Gift." He produced an award-winning short film entitled, "The Stairs". Movie can be viewed on my TOI blog. Mort is a correspondent for the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel Jewish Journal.
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