If you can only watch one: What we most need to hear this Rosh Hashanah

The traditional Jewish pastime for Rosh Hashanah afternoon has always been to discuss, debate, and compare the sermons from the morning’s services. In our modern world, especially among the liberal community, this includes quickly posting, texting, and emailing the words that most moved you to everyone you know.

I knew it was coming. Still, today’s favorites and what they teach seemed to catch me by surprise.

You see, my husband’s extended family includes some fantastically wonderful people whose anger at Israel is so militant and lacking empathy that they have decided they no longer want to interact with us. I love them, but I think they blame me for my husband’s love and support of Israel – painting me as a modern-day Jezebel or Delilah; deceiving him and keeping him from seeing “the truth,” as they understand it. So, when I saw that my mother-in-law had sent an email with a sermon link to a large group—and then separately forwarded it to me individually— I knew before opening the link that it was about Israel. 

I immediately tracked down a link to Rabbi Ammi Hirsch’s sermon today, and replied to her email suggesting she watch his as well. Now, in complete honesty, at that moment, I had only watched the beginning of Rabbi Hirsch’s sermon. Parenting kept getting in the way. So after several interruptions, I decided I would watch it after the kids went to sleep. That didn’t stop me, though, from sending it on. I felt confident that whatever he preached would speak accurately and powerfully to my beliefs. 

After I pressed send, I took a deep breath and opened her link. Ready to listen while I pushed my daughter on a swing. 

It was a sermon from Rabbi Angela Buchdal. Beautifully written and delivered, I felt genuinely moved to consider how I could better show empathy for the Palestinian people. I pictured innocent Palestinian babies as modern-day Ishmaels crying in the wilderness. It led to genuine reflection. I have hardened my heart a bit. I was living as if empathy were a finite resource.

How could I feel any differently, though? I was in Israel just weeks after Hamas’s horrific attack on October 7th. I had seen and heard and felt too much to have anything but anger towards the monsters who perpetrated violent, cruel, sexual, indiscriminate torture and murder of so many Israelis. Still, she was right. I only hoped my husband’s whole family would watch it and be open to its message as well, and consider offering empathy to the innocent Israelis brutalized, slaughtered, and kidnapped on October 7th.

It made me even more curious about Rabbi Hirsch’s sermon. I told my husband I needed some time alone, and I went back and watched Hirsch’s sermon from beginning to end. I felt every word. I was with him at every point, moved by every story. 

What surprised me was that I was blown away by the similarities I perceived between the two sermons. Rabbi Hirsch also warned against the calcification of the heart. However, he told the whole story, the whole struggle, reflecting on our post-October 7th reality, while Buchdal zeroed in on the critical message that all sides need to show greater empathy. 

I went back and texted my mother-in-law – sharing my appreciation of both sermons. It was only then that I realized Rabbi Hirsch’s direct and honest preaching wasn’t going to move her the way it had me. Even if she agreed that every word of his was accurate, she couldn’t open herself up to his brokenness and fear enough to feel moved by it truly. In other words, she lacked empathy for the pain and anger he has struggled with since October 7th.

I know it’s not that simple. She’s an incredibly kind and empathetic person. But that’s how it felt to me in that moment. I couldn’t understand why she refused to accept his pain without qualifications.

I am certain there were beautifully meaningful sermons offered by dozens and dozens of rabbis this morning. Still, because these are the two going viral, they offer the most significant opportunity to influence our movement. So which one should we watch first?

I agree with Rabbi Buchdal – this Israel conversation is ripping our community apart. And I agree with her assessment that we could all benefit from opening ourselves up to empathy for those we currently vilify. It was a beautiful sermon.

And if I had to pick one sermon to share with all of American Jewry, it would be Hirsch’s because his teaches everything hers does, while also reminding us what’s really at stake. 

His sermon asks us to be unwaveringly compassionate for innocent Palestinians, but he pairs this lesson with a message of remaining clear-eyed about the necessity of Jewish power and self-defense. He reminds us that this is bigger than American Jewry – and we can’t lose sight of October 7th’s scale and intent when discussing the war’s conduct and civilian suffering. And while I know my husband’s white, upper-class, extended family feels safe and secure in America, I agree with Hirsch that Jewish safety cannot rely on others’ goodwill alone. On the contrary, Jewish sovereignty is a hard-won, morally demanding necessity. 

So while both are genuinely inspired and inspiring, I hope that Hirsch’s will get more plays, more airtime, more likes, and more shares – because empathy for the other can not outweigh safety for ourselves.