In memory of Ben Vais z”l
A few weeks ago, during reserve duty in Lebanon, I wrote about a group of lone soldiers singing in the back of a Hummer. They came from the United States, England, Brazil. I remember thinking that they represented the very best of the Jewish people.
Today, I find myself thinking about another lone soldier. His name was Ben. Ben Vais. Since hearing about his death, I have not been able to stop thinking about him. I watched videos of him from our Kol Ami Mechina gap-year program over and over again. Smiling. Laughing. Surrounded by friends. Volunteering, learning, and traveling across the country he loved so deeply.
I learned more about him from Avishai and Akiva, the directors of Bnei Akiva Mechina Olamit, the Kol Ami campus at Migdal Oz. Ben’s life was not an easy one. He faced challenges that many people never see. Yet from everything I have heard, he kept pushing forward. He kept striving for more.
After his gap year in Israel, he made a choice that continues to inspire me.
He stayed. Like thousands of young Jews before him, Ben came to Israel through a gap-year program. Programs like Kol Ami, Bnei Akiva, and many others have helped generations of young Jews strengthen their connection to Israel, Judaism, and the Jewish people.
For some participants, that year becomes much more than an educational experience. It becomes the beginning of a new life. Ben chose to make aliyah. He chose to enlist in the IDF. A lone soldier from Canada with imperfect Hebrew but an enormous heart and a deep love for Israel. He worked hard, attended an intensive Hebrew program, and fought for every opportunity to advance. Eventually, he was accepted into an elite unit, an achievement that was anything but ordinary. We often speak about lone soldiers with admiration. And rightly so. These young men and women leave behind family, friends, and familiar surroundings because they believe in something larger than themselves. They choose responsibility. They choose service. They choose the future of the Jewish people.
But admiration alone is not enough. Because behind the inspiring stories lies a reality we do not discuss often enough. Israeli soldiers have parents waiting for them at home after a difficult week. They have childhood friends nearby. They have family members who notice when something is wrong.
Lone soldiers do not. Many are navigating a new language, a new culture, military service, and adulthood all at the same time. They are building a life from scratch while carrying responsibilities that would be difficult for anyone. And sometimes the people who appear strongest on the outside are carrying the heaviest burdens on the inside.
Ben’s death has shaken our entire community. It has also forced many of us to ask difficult questions. Are we doing enough? Are we providing the support these remarkable young people need not only during their gap year, but throughout their military service and beyond? As one of the leaders of Kol Ami, I sat down with our alumni director to discuss how we can strengthen our support systems for lone soldiers and young olim. Not because we have all the answers, but because we have a responsibility to do more.
The organizations that inspire young Jews to come to Israel perform extraordinary work. Every year we watch young people discover leadership, purpose, community, and a deep connection to this country. But our responsibility does not end when the program ends. If we celebrate these young people for their courage, we must also be there for them during their struggles.
When I think back to those soldiers singing in the back of that Hummer, I still feel hopeful about the future of the Jewish people. When I think about Ben, I am reminded that hope alone is not enough. It must be accompanied by responsibility.
May Ben’s memory be a blessing.
