Incredible bravery through incredible grief

Rabbi Shalom Axelrod thanking Rabbi Doron Perez after speech-Photo by David Groen

There’s a certain gut-wrenching irony in commemorating October 7^th in a crowd of over 1,000 people. Nevertheless, that is where I found myself in remembering, honoring and mourning that devastation day.

Young Israel of Woodmere, led by Rabbi Shalom Axelrod and Rabbi Shay Schachter, hosted and anchored what was one of the most powerful and important events I can remember attending in quite some time. Rabbis from all over the 5 towns and Rockaways came together with members of their respective communities to watch dramatic and meaningful videos remembering the victims and heroes of the day and to listen to the parents of 2 of those heroes. Rabbi Doron Perez and Einav Donino, spoke to us of the heroics and tragedy of their lost sons, breaking our collective hearts all over again. Yet with all the sadness of their stories, and the tragedy of the day, their messages were deeply meaningful and inspiring.

Einav Donino spoke first, describing the amazing young man that was her son Ori.  A strong and intelligent young man, Ori was chosen to an elite unite of the IDF.  His love for his family, his people and his country was related to us by this proud, loving and grieving mother. She told us how Ori had attended the Nova festival, and that due to his army status had received notification to the unfolding horror slightly sooner than others in attendance. On hearing this he proceeded to take a vehicle and drive a group of friends to safety. After dropping them off, realizing that there were still more of his friends left behind, he returned to save more people.  Unfortunately, upon doing so he was captured and went missing without any information regarding his status. Later his body would be recovered, and the family would have their opportunity to mourn him after a proper burial. Einav told the story of how just before Ori’s Bar Mitzvah he was so seriously injured in a car accident that he almost lost his life. Einav pleaded with God to spare her son, promising that if he would recover, she would never question God’s actions moving forward. Ori would grow into a strong, healthy young man and Einav would keep her word to, as she put it, never question the actions of the creator of the world moving forward. Through all her grief she kept her word in front of a deeply emotional audience. Her bravery is and was both palpable and inspiring.

Rabbi Doron Perez, CEO of the World Mizrachi movement, graced us with his remarkable strength in telling the story of his son Daniel. From a young age Daniel was highly accomplished. His exuberance, popularity, and athleticism came across as the core of his identity, making him both unforgettable and loving to all who met him.  He loved extreme sports, to the point that after an accident took place in one of his water sports activities, he hurt his leg so badly that the IDF refused to accept him to a combat unit, something Daniel had been dreaming about for years. Despite the refusal, Daniel worked his way back to the point that he would convince part of the IDF medical team to clear him for entry into a tank unit. Subsequently Daniel would not only immerse himself in his position, but he would also work his way up to tank commander. On October 7^th his unit was stationed in Nahal Oz, and subsequently Daniel would be kidnapped. It would not be till March when the IDF would be able to confirm his death. Although his body has sadly not yet been recovered, his family would at least know that Daniel was at peace.

It was to this point that Rabbi Perez would speak to the pain and suffering of his wife in what was one of the most powerful and poignant stories I’ve had heard in my lifetime. He started by discussing how no pain in the world is greater than the pain a mother feels for her child. His acknowledgment being one that speaks to the strong value that true Jewish homes put on that of a wife and mother. Rabbi Perez had held back from asking his wife how she was, knowing too well that she was devastated during the time that she only knew her son to be missing. But finally, when their son was confirmed to be dead, and they sat Shiva for Daniel, Rabbi Perez finally mustered up the strength to ask his wife how she was.  Her response would shock him. She said she was doing ok. Her pain she could deal with, but when she was cold, not knowing if Daniel was cold, she hurt. When she was hungry, not knowing if he was given food to eat, she hurt. When she felt any pain, no matter how minimal, not knowing if Daniel was suffering, she hurt. Now that she knew he had been killed, she knew he felt no pain, and while it did not make her pain go away, she was able to handle whatever pain she was feeling, now that she knew that he did not have to deal with his own.

As I looked around this large synagogue, not only on the 2 levels I could see were filled but in the nearby gymnasium, my emotions were flooded from different angles. I looked at this incredibly large crowd and realized that what I could see was still less than the number of people slaughtered on October 7^th.  It made me realize that part of what connects Jews in the Diaspora to Jews in Israel is that we are so very much the same. The woman speaking of her son could have been any mother in the audience, and the Rabbi speaking of his, could have been any father as well. I realized that the one fundamental difference between the 1200 murdered on October 7^th and the 1,000 plus crowd I was part of, was where we were on that fateful day, and that had any of our families settled in Israel rather than America, it could just as easily have been us. That somber thought led to a more powerful and positive one.

In history, the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was seen as “waking up a sleeping giant”. It brought the US into World War II with anger and determination. On October 7^th, Hamas woke up a spiritual giant. The unity in the Jewish world is greater than anything I have ever witnessed. Not only in the support of the mission, but in the fact that so many of us feel the same way about what is today and needs to be tomorrow. When the enemy get together in meetings and marches, they scream words of anger and hate. They preach slogans of violence and destruction.  When we gather, we remember our dead, we honor our heroes, and we pray for a happier and more peaceful future.

“Never Again” has been the battle cry of the Jewish world since 1945. Since October 7^th Jews have shown support through money, through activism, and through prayer.  That support has not been for naught, as the State of Israel and the brave soldiers of the IDF have fought and sacrificed to battle our evil enemies.

Never Again was not just a battle cry to the future, but a promise to the souls of the 6 million that perished during the Nazi reign of terror. Since October 7^th, Ori, Daniel, and all those fighting and sadly dying for Israel’s survival, have kept that promise. They make me happy and proud to be a Jew.