It is time to reframe peacebuilding

Every morning since October 7th, my four children crawl into bed with me, and for 10 minutes or so, we snuggle and hold each other. It started when my husband was called up to reserve duty, and even though he is home now, the ritual remains. It’s a moment of comfort, a fragile pause in a world that feels anything but secure.

But as I lie there, I can’t stop thinking about the mothers who don’t get these 10 minutes. The ones who have spent over a year wondering if their children are safe, cold, hungry, or afraid. The ones who woke up this morning with no one to hold.

As hostages return home, our relief is tempered by grief. Their homecoming is a testament to resilience and is also a stark reminder of the price paid. I fear that every terrorist released in the current deal is dreaming of becoming the next Yahya Sinwar. For me, this is exactly why we cannot accept the cost of continued conflict.

In the past year, many people, especially other military wives and some family members, have assumed I’ve abandoned my work in peacebuilding. I understand why they might think that. So many of us have adopted more violent rhetoric. Nonetheless, I have never felt more certain that this peacebuilding work is necessary – yet it must be reframed.

One of our biggest challenges over the last several decades is that we’ve defined “peace” in ways that set us up to fail. During the Oslo Accords, for example, we piloted bureaucratic peacebuilding, without civil society coordination to assure implementation. In 2005 we attempted unilateral peacebuilding. In these and other examples when political, security or diplomatic steps branded as “peace” collapsed into violence, people didn’t see a failed implementation – they saw a failed idea. But the idea wasn’t wrong, it was just missing one key piece: the people.

It is time to reframe peacebuilding. 

Peacebuilding, like military operations aimed at providing security, has to be defined by measurable and realistic goals with indicators of success. These indicators must be mapped out at all levels of society, with a holistic implementation plan rooted in accountability and security.

Peacebuilding is not solely a bureaucratic, diplomatic, security or even real estate plan. It is a changed reality for the better. 

It is safety, well-being, our future.

President Trump’s plan to “take over” Gaza may have been vague, but for argument’s sake, even if Trump were to fulfill his vision of a US-led rebuilding effort in Gaza, who would implement it on the ground? Bureaucrats and contractors alone do not generally develop or run a society. The people living there will need education, community development, healthcare, and religious and social infrastructure – all resources that governments rely on civil society to provide even under the best of circumstances. This is why civil society is critical.

Civil society refers to the non-governmental organizations and institutions that enable communities to function. This includes educational, cultural, religious, and special groups that represent the interests and will of citizens. Civil society is meant to enforce safe, healthy, social norms. 

Oslo, the peace talks in the early 2000s, the unilateral withdrawal from Gaza, and the ceasefires of the last several wars have all failed to engage civil society. Trump’s relocation suggestion, at least as it appears today, seems to do the same.

Just last week, my organization, Amal-Tikva, brought together Israeli and Palestinian civil society leaders in Jerusalem to map out a new framework for peacebuilding. 

These were not random individuals discussing an abstract notion of “peace”. These were serious people leading actual movements in society. Some engage thousands of students in the Israeli education system. Others are running major public discourse campaigns in the West Bank. Some work quietly behind the scenes with the Palestinian Authority, while others with the Ministry of Justice. Some were religious leaders. Many lead hundreds and thousands. These are leaders on the ground, rooted in their communities and connected within the higher echelons of their societies. 

The purpose of this meeting was to map out how we reach deeper within and more effectively across our societies, with insights from one of the most successful peacebuilders of the last century, Dr. Mari Fitzduff. 

“Conflicts do not necessarily end, but they do change,” she said. “Good will is not a strategy.”

At the summit, we explored what has worked elsewhere and what might work here. The diversity of perspectives in the room was striking, especially amidst President Trump’s recent announcements. Right-wing NGO leaders argued that Trump’s plan was a “brilliant idea” and tried to convince Palestinian colleagues why it made sense. Some Palestinians responded that there’s nothing you can do to get thousands or millions of people to leave their land, even if their homes are destroyed. Others expressed confusion or uncertainty. But what mattered to me was that these conversations were happening – not just in political offices, but among the very people who will be responsible for holding what happens next.

Our recently developed Diamond Approach to Peacebuilding recognizes that just as peace cannot be achieved solely through grassroots efforts, neither can it be achieved solely through diplomatic effort. The diamond has four points – the top represents political “top-down” peacemaking, the bottom represents grassroots peacebuilding, and the sides represent Israeli and Palestinian societies. The approach encourages engagement both within and between societies to develop a new, nonviolent construct from within their religious and national aspirations.

The Diamond Approach to Peacebuilding as presented in Amal-Tikva’s 2024 report on ‘The State of Civil-Society Peacebuilding between Israelis and Palestinians’

Regardless of what Trump ultimately does or how diplomacy plays out in Gaza, those of us invested in creating a better reality for Israelis or Palestinians (or both) cannot afford to be passive. Civil society organizations must have a seat at the table. 

It’s not enough to want or talk about peace. It’s not enough to get people together in a room and hope something changes as a result. Sustainable change requires civil society to be built deliberately, with infrastructure in place that enables people to live safely – militarily and diplomatically, as well as through deliberate peacebuilding efforts that integrate civil society at every level.

We must work together, with our safety and security in mind, to create a holistic strategic plan for a more peaceful reality, with key indicators of success and accountability held within the most relevant sectors of society. We need a social, economic, religious, and environmental process all in parallel to the security and political negotiations.

Again, this is not because we are friends. This is not because we trust each other, like each other, or want to share this land.

This is because we, Israelis and Palestinians, are part of each other’s realities, whether we like it or not. 

And if there’s even a chance that my children won’t have to wake up in 20 years fearing or grieving another October 7th, then that is a chance I am willing to fight for.