It was never supposed to happen - in memory of hostage Carmel Gat z"l | Binyamin Katzman

My daughter and I, along with the entire nation were heartbroken by the horrific news Sunday. We were not managing to get anything done. The IDF had announced early that morning that Hamas had shot six hostages shortly before the IDF was able to rescue them.

The hostages were Hersh Goldberg-Polin, 23, Eden Yerushalmi, 24, Ori Danino, 25, Alex Lobanov, 32, Carmel Gat, 40, and Almog Sarusi, 27.

My daughter, aged 15, suggested we go to Hersh’s funeral. Along with me and many around the world, Hersh z”l was the one she felt most connected to. She had a friend whose family had a connection to Hersh’s family. Coming from the north, the train connection should be pretty smooth, minus the bus transfer which could be a bit messy with the large masses expected.

With the crowds that were expected to pay tribute to this special young man, from this remarkable family whose parents had inspired and brought people to tears all across the world, I had a different idea. I wanted to add two more people to pay their respects to another beautiful soul also murdered brutally by Hamas together with Hersh and the others, and be able to tell her story.

A quick search revealed that four funerals had already taken place on Sunday, but there was one more funeral scheduled for Monday afternoon. It was for Carmel Gat z”l, an occupational therapist who was about to begin the second year of her Master’s degree. Then I noticed it was right near the border with Gaza, right where so much of Oct 7th happened, and right where Carmel was kidnapped – in Kibbutz Be’eri.

I hesitated for just a second, thinking about my daughter’s and my own safety, but my wife gave the ok, and I managed to calm any fears my daughter had. Both of us felt a great honor, and also sadness to be going to this place of immense tragedy but also valiant heroism, where so many risked their lives, and many lost their lives fighting off Hamas terrorists on Oct 7th. We felt great respect and pride for the people who have been living here and running to bomb shelters for so many years, ever since Israel left Gaza in 2005 and Hamas took over in 2007.

The Nova festival memorial site is only a few minutes away from Be’eri, and we spent a short time there before heading to Carmel’s funeral. It was heartbreaking to see the “Bring Them Home” posters for Hersh Goldberg-Polin (23) and Eden Yerushalmi (24) along with the multitude of memorials. Both Hersh and Eden were kidnapped from the Nova festival. Now these Bring Them Home signs would turn into more memorials.

Oct 7th was a national tragedy for Israel and for the Jewish people – for the Gat family it was a double tragedy. On Oct 7th Carmel’s mother Kinneret was killed in Kibbutz Be’eri. After losing their wife and mother, Carmel’s father Eshel and remaining siblings clung on to hope, full of anxiety, for almost 11 months that Carmel would hang on and make it out alive. She came so close!

Carmel’s sister-in-law was also kidnapped. Yarden Roman-Gat was released in the first prisoner exchange. Carmel was supposed to be released the next day. But Hamas reneged on the agreement and refused to release the last batch of women and the cease fire was over.

You could feel the heartbreak and devastation among the mourners. The speakers, her friends and family, spoke lovingly; reminiscing, and longing for their dear Carmel. Surprisingly, most speakers were apolitical. They mentioned her love of yoga, her love of travel, especially to India. They mentioned their deep connections, and spoke of their friendships. Carmel had just returned home from India when she went to visit her parents in Be’eri for Simhat Torah. According to freed hostages, Carmel helped other hostages in captivity by teaching them yoga, and helped the children feel safe and protected to the extent that they feel that they survived because of her.

Her dad – Eshel Gat’s words were as they say in Hebrew “charif” – they were strong, sorrowful, and bitter. The man lost his wife, and must have had so much hope filled with anxiety, along with repeated broken promises of Carmel’s release. Eshel’s words were read by Carmel’s cousin Shai Dickman. She read them with great emotion. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the cemetery.

The words “it was never supposed to happen” “זה לא היה צריך לקרות.” were repeated multiple times.

“We shouted, repeated, explained…for those who doubted it, that the writing was on the wall. And it is still there.”

“The pain, rage and frustration are great in light of the fact that someone chose to ignore, torpedo and fail any chance of a deal that would bring Carmel and many others back to us.”

“Carmel with her special characteristics held her part of the bargain. She – persisted, kept her sanity, mental and physical health and even supported others a lot. The blind government betrayed her and betrayed us. Goodbye my beloved daughter. The separation is hard.”