Jacob’s Guide to Dealing with the Devil

How do you make a deal with the devil? According to the rabbis, our forefathers had no greater enemy than Laban, who tried “to uproot everything.” Jacob himself attests to the fact that Laban constantly tried to trick him and cheat him, and Laban’s own daughters confirm these accusations and add to them. But although Laban is an arch-villain, Parshat Vayishlach ends with a long description of Jacob’s final encounter with him, which starts on the verge of all-out war, but ends idyllically- with a shared feast, brotherhood, kisses and blessings. Between the beginning of that encounter and its end, Jacob provides us with three critical tips for managing foreign affairs with enemies, all based on one foundational principle .

Tip #1: We have our own moral code which we need to observe regardless of the immorality of our enemy.

Laban begins the encounter with two claims against Jacob’s behavior: that Jacob stole his heart, that is, that he kidnapped Laban’s daughters and their children without giving him a chance to properly say goodbye, and that he stole his idols. Regarding the first claim, Jacob accepts the facts, and disputes the moral criticism. Yes, I took your daughters, but it was justified as a “pre-emptive attack”, because I feared you would steal them from me first, and our history confirms the reasonableness of that fear. Regarding the second claim, his response is the inverse, accepting the moral criticism, but disputing the facts. No one stole your idols, but if they did, they will be punished severely. The fact that he is dealing with a liar and a thief does not justify his own camp engaging in theft. And even though the accusation of theft comes from an unreliable and hypocritical source, Jacob focuses on the substance of the accusation, and sets out to fully and thoroughly investigate so that truth and justice can be served.

Tip #2: It is possible to reach diplomatic agreements with an enemy with a false narrative built on lies, while remaining faithful to our own narrative.

Laban has his narrative. “The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, the sheep is my sheep.” Jacob doesn’t accept a word of this as truth. He knows that while Laban constantly schemed and tried to steal from him, he worked honestly, fulfilling all of his responsibilities beyond the letter of the law. “I did not bring a dead animal to you, I accepted the sin for it, you could demand it from my hand.” But the fact that his enemy touts falsehoods does not prevent Jacob from coming to an agreement with him. Jacob simply insists on doing it in his own language, based on his own interests and narrative. Laban names the place “Yegar Sahaduta” but Jacob insists on callling it “Gal Ed”. Laban swears in the name of the gods of Abraham and Nahor, while Jacob insists on swearing in the name of “the fear of his father, Isaac.” Does this grant legitimacy to the enemy’s narrative? Perhaps, but apparently, this concerns Jacob less than the pursuit of his own goals.

Tip #3: We have our own goals. If we pursue them relentlessly, ultimately, we will achieve them.

What are those goals? What does Jacob want out of all of this? Why make any agreement with Laban at all? Laban admits at the very beginning of their exchange that, as much as he might want to, he poses no physical threat to Jacob. So, what need does Jacob have to engage with him? In his commentary “Haamek Davar”, the Netziv, Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin, has a fascinating explanation: “Jacob’s defining trait was to reside in peace and security with people. Even though Laban provoked him excessively…Jacob did not pay this any mind, and tried to pursue peace…And moreover, he wanted to accustom his children to this wonderful trait.” Jacob was committed to pursuing peace, no matter what, and if he had a chance to do that, even with an untrustable, conniving, manipulative enemy, he would do so. Both for himself, and for his children. And ultimately, he succeeds. The “brothers” to whom Jacob calls at the end of the story are not his own brothers or even his children, but, according to Radak, they are “Laban’s people, for all were brothers and beloved after making a covenant.”

The underlying principle of Jacob’s foreign policy is clear: Even when dealing with a cruel and untrustworthy enemy who seeks to destroy us, what we need to do is to remain committed to our own truth- to our moral values, to our narrative, and to our wonderful trait of relentlessly pursuing peace.