JERUSALEM TOUR: Katamon

This is the area of Jerusalem where single people go to cry. Similar to the Upper West Side of New York, this is not an area where elementary school kids, or high school students, should be hanging out. It will also mess up their hope for a future.
Yes. Those are single people. You can see them looking at us, hoping one of us is single and willing to talk to them. They moved in when they were 20, in hopes of meeting an Israeli.
Good question. That American still does not speak Hebrew. How do you develop a relationship with an Israeli when you do not speak Hebrew? Israel is the land of miracles.
Yes. I am single. No. These facts are in the guide books. They are hoping to meet somebody, and yet they do not know how to initiate conversation of attraction, as they grew up religious. Nothing to do with me. We read about this for guiding school. But that was a good question.
We are moving. We are moving.
You can see a Dud Shemesh. This amazing device works to heat up water for the first shower taken in the morning. You can tell we are in a Jewish area, as the Dud Shemesh is white. Any claims by Arabs that they built these homes are false, as you can see the white Dud Shemesh.
That is a lady with a burqa. They are very modest and Jewish. We know that because of the white Dud Shemesh.
Found in South-Central Jerusalem, this gang area is home to many non-profit organizations and consulates. 
It is a neighborhood. There is some history. People live here. Maybe this isn’t a frequently toured area, because people don’t like seeing homes. But homes are history. As you can see this apartment building has stores on its ground floor. Quite interesting.
 
Katamonim- We are still in South-Central Jerusalem and there are no consulates here. We just crossed Yochanan Ben Zackai St., and we have just added an ‘im’ to the name. 
Look to your right, you can see a random person peeing on the street. Behind him, you can see a synagogue which was built a half century ago.
Katamonim was built in the early years of the modern state of Israel, to house the new immigrants. Affordable living was the key, and as such, no apartment was built to be larger than 45 square meters. You can find affordable housing in this area for 1,600,000 shekel.
The greater Katamon area is surrounded by different Katamonim (also known as the Gonanim to professors who study the geography of Jerusalem and know that somebody out there calls Katamon, Gonen- from the word ‘defenders,’ as you can see they have the same root). Katamonim is surrounded by what is known as ‘Shikunim,’ the hood. These complexes were originally built with stucco siding, making them not fit for Jerusalem- as they kill the view from the neighbor’s porch. The government knew that the buildings would never be cleaned, and as such built them to look dirty.
There are a good 9 Katamon areas, in the Katamonim, but they are all affectionately known to the people who live here as Rechavia. Katamon, without the ‘im’ is the area built for English speakers.
Across from San Simon Park (which is really the Katamon park), where there is a monastery for missionizing children on bouncy horses, is the Youth Village where they teach children about the Oslo peace talks and how they affect rockets coming into Israel.
 
And we now see another Ashkenazi shule built in a bomb-shelter. As Ashkenazim are always scared of war, they have claimed every bomb-shelter. The nice synagogue over there is a Sephardi shule. They believe that H’ protects, and a shule should look nice.
About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: david@israelcomedy.com 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.
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