Isn’t it great, any love story? It’s swimming against the tide to say: “Not always.” But exactly that, I will do, while trying to sound reasonable.
Mind you: he’s Jewish, she’s Muslim.
That means that for traditional Muslims, their kids will be Jewish.
And for traditional Jews, their children will be Muslim.
With a variation to National Brotherhood Week by Tom Lehrer:
All the Muslims hate the pap
And all the Jews hate the mum
All the Christians hate the both
And everybody hates the kids.
I really don’t think it’s bad when one Muslim family line becomes non-Muslim, starts adhering to another idealism (Socialism, Veganism, Christianity, whatever). But when one Jewish family member opts out and goes Gentile, it’s a disaster. In every single case. Because Jews have a commitment to G^d and Humanity to lead setting the world right. If your mate is not into that, nothing will be left of that commitment.
(Also the consequences seem different in the two communities. For Jewish Law, such a man cannot be counted in a minyan or called up to the Torah; something violating Shabbat or kashrut laws cannot do. I’m no expert on Islam but I heard often that leaving Islam warrants the death penalty.)
S/he could join you? S/he supports the Jew in you? Then s/he must convert to Judaism first. If s/he is unwilling or unfit, s/he’s not for you.
Maybe you can’t force love but you must be able to say no in life.
BTW, Jewish parents, don’t tell your kids that Gentiles are anything less than us. It’s bad advertising and it’s not true. And when your child then finally meets this lovely, amazing, relaxed Gentile, don’t blame them for falling in love. Rather, say: “Gentiles can be wonderful people but what can we do? Our Father in Heaven has forbidden us to marry them.”
Our portion of the week contains the Ten Commandments, for us to spread throughout the world. That’s why they were given in no man’s land. They’re not ours to keep to ourselves. It starts with abundantly honoring a righteous Gentile who wants to help us. And his daughter who converted.
A Jew marrying out is also an unbelievable affront to and refutation of all the sacrifices hundreds of their ancestors made to stay Jewish.
He says he wanted to bring humor into Jazz and his situation. I understand that he feels like he needs to defend himself but I don’t find it funny. I call it making light of what isn’t. He should be democratically free to marry anyone he wants and face no social restrictions of personal scorn. But it’s not funny.
It’s different for a Jewish woman marrying out. At least her kids are Jewish (prenatal time counts!) and she has no obligation to marry. (But if she does, she should marry a Jew too.)
But he’s not so religious — how much damage did he do? Well, if he’d learn more Judaism, he’d know. I’m sure he meant no harm. And she loves a Jews. That can’t be wrong.
Yes, it’s very brave of them. But things done boldly can still be wrong.
One could object: But if he found love, what’s bad about that? It’s not the love that is bad. And I’m happy for his good fortune. But for me it means the same as a Jew converting, a disaster. And like every Jewish marriage and baby is happiness for all Jews, the opposite is sadness for all of us.
And if they’ll have kids, I’m sure they’ll be wonderful. But I hope they’ll convert to Judaism and become (married to) leading rabbis of their generation. And forgive their father for the trouble he gave them.
All people should intermarry. Anything else is nationalism, racism, cultural elitism and supremacy. One is German and one is Italian — adding up their cultures is enrichment. And kids being bilingual from the cradle. Great!
But this song doesn’t advocate that. He needs to give up being Jewish (having Jewish kids) and she should give up being a Muslim (drink beer and wine). The worst of both worlds. People who intermarry should appreciate cultural enrichment, not erase the ethical roots of each other’s heritage. (Yet, in a later explanation, they seem to try take the best of both worlds.)
One exception: the Jews.
We’re of all races. We’re of all cultures. We’re of all times. We’re the only People founded on a holy timeless Calling you’re not allowed to undo. Intermarriage with a Jew is not mutual enrichment but watering down the Jewish Mission. It’s not just your life to squander. Put it to music or not.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
