Mort Laitner

Kanye, Betta Watch Yo Mouth Rap

Kanye, I’m bit sleepy tonite

but when I wake up, yo and I gonna fight

Yo be Death Con 3 threatening the JEWISH PEOPLE

Now we gonna hang yo privates to the highest steeple

We be puttin’ yo in a tizzle

makin’ yo world kinda fizzle

Kanye, yo ain’t no gangsta from the hood

Picking on the Israelites ain’t doing ya no good

Remember you ain’t no longer the bomb

Cauz we Hebz ain’t gonna stay calm

On my tribe yo be pickin’

Now yo be aksin’ for a lickin’

We be bustin’ our moves on you

Soon you be learnin’ not to mess with a Jew

Kanye West, stop toying with us

or webe puttin’ yo ass on a bus

You ain’t no longer a Big Willy

We gonna make you look kinda silly

On Instagram, yo be mouthin’ against my peeps

Now they be beggin’ to make you weeps

You betta watch yo mouth

Or we be callin’ you a big fat louz

Showin’ no respect for our 13 tribes

Rabbiz be cursing yo good vibes

The ‘Brews be tellin’ me, “Mort, take away the bro’s Bentley and his Patek too

And while you’re at it, put his big fat ass in the middle of zoo

Kanye, “You ain’t showin’ us Hebes no respect

And we be tired of sayin’ “What the hecht”

Kim be sayin’, “Be kind to the brother, he be crazy

But I be knowin’ you rich and yo ain’t lazy

Kim be talkin’ to the Fedz

Asking them to take away yo medz

Kim be tellin’ us you be wacked

We be going to make sure you get sacked

Kanye, Jared told me you got rants in yo pants

Betta show our brother some love, cauz he own yo underpantz

Yosemites wantz me to take the bling off yo neck

And flatten yo big fat ass onto the deck

Kanye, go talk to yo Mama

ask her what to say

Or we circumcized peeps gonna make you pay

About the Author
Mort Laitner is a writer, storyteller, and lifelong observer of the wonderfully unpredictable human condition. His writing combines humor, Jewish wit, personal experience, and a healthy dose of curiosity about the rapidly changing world around us. A South Florida writer and longtime member of the writing community, Mort writes about everything from technology and artificial intelligence to Israel, Jewish life, aging, friendship, and the everyday absurdities of modern life. His stories often begin with a simple question—and then take the reader somewhere unexpected. Mort believes that good writing should make readers laugh, think, and occasionally say, “I never thought about it that way.” His work has appeared in The Times of Israel and in literary publications and anthologies. Whether writing about Moshe and Mordechai arguing over the latest news, an encounter with artificial intelligence, or the peculiarities of getting older, Mort brings his distinctive voice, humor, and humanity to every story.
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