Last Minute Elul Thoughts – Shalom in all Arenas

The Theme of SHALOM is certainly predominant in these last days of the month of Elul before Rosh Hashanah. It is what we are yearning for as we are fighting so hard on the battlefield to achieve with the unbelievable bravery of our IDF soldiers.

The Hebrew month of Elul is also known for its emphasis on SHALOM and particularly in the context of marriage. It is the ideal time period that is considered most auspicious for strengthening the foundations of Shalom Bayit.

Make TEAM MARRIAGE a priority

Several years ago, I wrote a blog entitled Rosh Hashanah Resolution – Create Team Marriage in which I advocated to make a resolution for  Rosh Hashanah which is just as relevant today especially during this traumatic period of war and instability and displacement to  – make TEAM MARRIAGE a priority.

In the newly published fourth edition Fighting for YOUR Marriage, Professor Howard J. Markman and his colleagues Scott M. Stanley, Galena K. Rhoades and Janice R. Levine discuss the significance of couples working as a team by stating:

“You have a choice when dealing with any problem, either you will nurture a sense that you are a team working together against the problem or you will operate as if you are working against each other.[1]”

What Working as A Team Means

If ever there was a time for preserving the safety and security of the home front it is NOW, and making a resolution for couples to truly work as a team can give clarity and focus for the year ahead.

The authors also define what working as a team means by stating the following:

“that you agree to not fight destructively, to commit yourself to keeping fun and friendship in your relationship, and to make your relationship a safe emotional harbor.[2]”

Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Building a Lasting Love

These sentiments and more on making Marriage a Priority for the coming year will be the subject of an upcoming Webinar scheduled right after the Jewish holiday season on Tuesday, November 5 entitled:

Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Building a Lasting Love

The Webinar featuring Professor Howard Markman will share novel ideas from his new book as well as offer insights as to how we can make Shalom Bayit a priority with teamwork being an essential ingredient.

The Webinar is sponsored by our amuta Together in Happiness and is FREE and intended for all audiences and couples of any stages.

 The registration is open and can be accessed by clicking on the link:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/positive-steps-for-preventing-divorce-and-building-a-lasting-love-tickets-1034022738847

A NOTE OF GRATITUDE to the HOME FRONT

As Elul is the month of reflection, there are no words to express my gratitude to Am Yisrael for the sacrifices that have been made especially on the home front as so many homes have been disrupted by evacuations, and reservists called into service, and especially for those spouses who have had to carry the burden of playing dual roles and assuming responsibilities beyond any imagined. And a “shot out” to the extended family members who have had to step in and play critical roles to supplement the home front responsibilities.

This blog is dedicated to the dedication, and courage and commitment of our brave citizenry and with a special prayer for the safe return of our beloved hostages and members of the IDF.

A prayer also that our homes be the safe havens for the expression of Love and all the Elul stands for and making our marriages the anchors and bastions of harmony and shalom bayit that will carry the wounds of this past year to be healed.

We have the opportunity now to demonstrate to the world that we are the number one champions of what it truly means to be a light among the nations starting one marriage at a time.

Wishing you a K’tiva v’chatima tova.

—

[1] Markman, Howard, Scott M. Stanley, Galena K. Rhoades, Janice R. Levine. Fighting for Your Marriage.2024. Jossey-Bass:121

[2] Ibid, p 17