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Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews -- For those who like their news and truths frank and sharp

Learn from Bibi how to negotiate: Trump is here

Bibi’s under a lot of constant criticism, but friend and foe should admit: Israeli politicians, on the Left and on the Right, could learn a thing or two from our Prime-Minister about negotiating. And Trump is called a lot of things but for sure he’s a negotiator. He’s not a people pleaser and not a boy scout; rather, his highest value is to get to a good deal.

Mr. Trump is a business man seeking profit. He may just like the Jews because he found out that they are profitable to him (and maybe too because Jews are so naive when you’re friendly to them), and not (necessarily) because he’s our friend – or anyone’s. (Stop dividing mankind into friends and enemies of the Jews!) Please, memorize some of the following strategic rules.

  • Throughout negotiations, be a Mench, friendly, upbeat, constructive, charming, and compliment, smile, joke, hug, chitchat. No because you’re naive, but rather because you’re decent.
  • When facing an opponent, don’t start by putting all your cards on the table or by spelling out all the points that you may eventually compromise on. Leave some room for negotiation. Don’t suggest ways you could make concessions when not yet forced. Don’t give in if the other side doesn’t match your willingness to compromise. Win-win should be the outcome of good negotiations, not a goal to strive for.
  • Never trust a negotiation partner until you have a deal. If he’s not an enemy, he can still fleece you for his interests. You’re not here to please him and he’s not here to please you. Try to say only things that are true (though don’t give away your whole picture) but keep in mind that the other might mislead you. Be frank enough to say: I expect better from a friend, if they are truly unreasonable. If they present themselves as your friend, talk like a friend too, but don’t assume that they are your friend.
  • Leave your ego at the door. (Admit that that is a hard one.) Trying to score points with the public will not work for you. As the Sages wrote: if you chase honor, honor will flee from you. Rather, do a good job and then you will get more than honor due. Honor is a good byproduct of negotiations but a lousy negotiating goal.
  • Don’t get angry at the other side; maybe you misunderstood them; in the worst case, learn to agree to disagree. Learn to use understatement; instead of “You’re the biggest disappointment that the Jewish People ever faced” say : Apparently we need more time to come to a result that will please us both. Learn to say no as if you hand them the moon. Take any “definitely not” as a: no for now.
  • Don’t be too agreeable or pleased until the agreement’s signed. Wedge war if you need to. Play hardball. If the other side knows how to negotiate, they may look pained, but they know too that both sides are in this game each to win the most and that you are not dating partners – or enemies. Learn to look pained and worried, silently. If the offer is better than you could have anticipated, look moderately pleased; shout with joy later, when you’re out of earshot (there are mikes everywhere!) and if the offer then still stands. If so, ask yourself why you expected less than you could get. Presents don’t prove that they are your friends – only that they want something from you.
  • It ain’t over till it’s over. Walk away if the opponent needs you to agree but they are not forthcoming. Ask for time to collect and present more proof for your position.

Therefore: I will stop thinking highly of all Israeli politician who from now on will have the stupidity to tell the media: how much they like the new US Administration, what exactly they want from the new team, how much they understand that these guys can only meet us so far for now, what the end results of the talks ideally must be, how you will agree with anything they want because they are friends of ours, etc. Please shut up and put your brain in gear before you speak again. Thank you.

And one suggestion for President Trump. Moving the US Embassy to Jerusalem might be a costly and hollow first gesture, that also must take time. Why not give Israelis a great opening present that would not interest the Arab Palestinians at all and can be instantaneous? To pardon Jonathan Pollard so that he finally can move to Israel. Long overdue. Make our day! Let him fly back with our Prime-Minister.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. * As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2000 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe too, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. * His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
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