Lessons for Life from My Dinner with Bill Gates on Sukkot

The concept of coincidence is antithetical to a Torah perspective.  The idea that everything is directed by G-d for our benefit is underscored in numerous places throughout the Torah.  It is often not clear why G-d directs us to a specific place at a specific time, but sometimes, the life lesson learn from such Divine Guidance is clear … like when I found myself having dinner with Bill Gates on Sukkot just a few days ago.

In retrospect, the number of moving parts that had to be orchestrated for me to have a dinner meeting with Bill Gates on Sukkot are mindboggling.

I was originally scheduled to be a guest speaker for a Sukkot Program overseas.  G-d had other plans for me.  My wife’s passport – which she had sent to the Department of State for a routine renewal – was delayed and, to avoid taking a chance, we rerouted our Sukkot plans to Orlando, Florida.

A prominent businessperson extended an invitation to me to join him and a very small group of select friends at his home in La Jolla, CA for a private dinner with Bill Gates.   Being that the evening for the dinner event was on Chol Hamoed Sukkot, I found myself explaining to the dinner coordinator that not only would there have to be special arrangements made for a strictly kosher dinner to be delivered for me, but being that one should not eat cake or bread outside of a Sukkah during Sukkot, in addition to organizing strictly kosher food, the hostess went out of her way to ensure that I would be able to eat the catered food outside of a Sukkah!

Since the host went to such trouble, I felt duty bound to fly across the country for my rendezvous with one of the richest people in the world.  Little did I know that my round-trip flight of over twelve hours for a three-hour dinner would arm me with some of the most profound life lessons that need to be experienced to be appreciated.

The conversation that I had with Mr. Gates drove home the meaning of Sukkot and provided for life lesson that I believe millions of people chasing material success and superficial fame need to internalize.

I asked Mr. Gates what achievements he had reached in his life of which he was most proud.   Here is a person who co-founded Microsoft, a company which changed the face of computers everywhere and who has held the # 1 spot on the Forbes List for longer than anyone as the richest person in the world.

Mr. Gates did not have to deliberate too long.  He told me that what he is most proud of and what gives him the most joy is making a difference in the lives of tens of thousands of people living below poverty levels in Africa and providing the resources to help millions fight diseases and medical ailments.   Not a word about any financial success or building one of the most successful companies in the world.

Clearly without realizing it, Bill Gates was emphasizing some of the main themes of Sukkot.  In short, the main life lessons I extrapolated from my dinner with Bill Gates during Sukkot were as follows:

1).  THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU MOST HAPPY ARE NOT THINGS

Bill Gates can afford to buy the fanciest homes in the world, the fastest cars, and the most expensive toys, yet the word happiness and material success were never placed in the same sentence in our interaction.

Leaving the security of our big homes and moving into the temporary, fragile Sukkah on the Jewish Holiday that is also known as the “Time of Happiness,” should be a sharp reminder to all of us that the things that make us most happy are not things.  They are our relationships with our significant other, our family and building a relationship with our Maker.

2).  HAPPINESS IS THE RESULT OF GIVING, NOT TAKING

It was clear during our discussion that notwithstanding having a net worth of more than one hundred billion dollars, the joy Gates seems to enjoy most about having the amount of money that could support many countries is giving it away rather than hoarding it.

Sukkot is the Jewish Holiday in which we live in a dwelling that is clearly temporary to remind us that our journey in this world is also temporary and that nobody leaves this world with any material success they have achieved.  What people are remembered by are their deeds in helping others and making the world a better place.  Such deeds come from giving not taking.

3).  HAPPINESS IS THE RESULT OF LIVING A LIFE OF PURPOSE

Mr. Gates’ mood seemed contemplative as I explained the laws of kashrut and the importance to me of observing the Jewish Holidays.

Sukkot is the Jewish Holiday which teaches us of the importance of emunah more than any other Jewish Holiday.  We are reminded to trust an Omnipotent G-d who is in control by letting go of our superficial comforts.

As the evening ended and as I prepared to rush back to the airport in San Diego to fly back across the entire country in time for Hoshana Rabbah in Orlando, I was overcome with a deep sense of gratitude to G-d.

While I may have brought down the average net worth of the dinner guest by about one billion dollars, there was no question in my mind that I was the happiest person at the dinner event that evening!

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Antony Gordon is a Fulbright Scholar and graduate of Harvard Law School and Harvard Business School.  Antony’s TEDxTalk achieved over one million views in record time. He is a USA Today and Wall Street Journal Best Selling Author and the host of the critically acclaimed podcast, The Antony Gordon Show.  Antony has become one of the most sought-after speakers in the Jewish world for several leading organizations.