Eli Verschleiser

Let’s Talk Responsibly About Suicide

I have written before about the tendency in some circles to take a tragic event or series of events and try to show a trend that reflects poorly on religious Jews. There has been a wave of people going public in recent years with memoirs about their rebellion against religious life and the unfortunate misery they endured while forced to adhere to a lifestyle they did not value.

And so the Jewish and secular media are already on the lookout for continuation or elevation of the concept that the more strictly Orthodox a Jew grows up, the more likely he or she is to be dysfunctional and unhappy, unless they are fortunate enough to escape and write a bestseller about it.

Do not misunderstand me. As the president of Our Place, a nonprofit organization that provides support, shelter, and counseling for our troubled youth, I will not for a moment dismiss the urgent need for such people to find their comfort level and be true to who they are at heart.

It has been one of my life’s missions to help individuals on that path find peace. I have seen far too many tragic outcomes when drugs and conflict take hold and hope is extinguished, along with a young life that held enormous value and promise.

But perspective is important—yet perspective is elusive when it comes to the media. One life, one single precious life that is snuffed out because suicide seemed the only remedy, is a thousand times too high a price to pay. And it is not one life, it is many. But in recent months, following a few high-profile suicides, numbers have been thrown around that strain credibility and present a far more frightening picture than what I and others know actually exists.

I do not believe that 70+ religious Jews have committed suicide since Rosh Hashanah, as some have recently asserted in the media. This fits into the narrative of an increasingly dysfunctional community that some would like to see, but it is at odds with the evidence. I have pressed one individual who was linked to that figure in a media report, and he assured me it did not come from him.

What’s at stake here is not just pride and accuracy and our indignation at media mistreatment. Human lives are at stake because of this irresponsible talk. Because suicide is a disease. And it’s contagious.

Just as unstable people sometimes copycat crimes they see on TV, so can the troubled duplicate suicide when they see the level of attention it draws in the aftermath. So if one suicide can beget another, dozens of fabricated suicides can create actual ones.

Perhaps some of those using this 70+ figure are including drug overdoses in their total. In many cases, perhaps most, such deaths are unintentional, a result of unexpectedly potent drugs or inexperience with dosages. In many cases I have seen such people who, while surely troubled enough to be drawn to drugs, had no intention to end their lives.

Drug abuse can be treated; the toll of an overdose may be reversible. But suicide is irrevocable.

The Centers for Disease Control recognized copycat suicides as a dangerous phenomenon as far back as 1989, when it held a workshop to address the issue of “media-related suicide contagion.”

Experts agree that reporting of overdose can be beneficial to the public if it helps publicize the availability of programs such as hotlines, prevention, and support groups, such as Our Place or The Living Room. But it can be detrimental and promote copycats if the coverage focuses on the method of suicide, the outpouring of love for the deceased at the funeral or memorial service, and all the positive attributes of the deceased without also mentioning that the person was deeply troubled.

The public attachment of suicide to the idea of “escaping” a religious community is also highly dangerous, especially if it is depicted as a larger phenomenon than it actually is, with a percentage that is higher than suicide rates in the general population, which, according to the American Society for Suicide Prevention, is 12.93 per 100,000 people. With about 600,000 Orthodox Jews in the New York tri-state area, 70+ suicides would amount to more than 15 people per 100,000.

I would never ask the professional media to stifle actual news of a tragedy, nor should anyone expect this. What I would ask for is more of the kind of skepticism we see when politicians or corporate leaders make public statements that can often be ad hoc, inflated, or self-serving.

Let’s have a smart dialogue about suicide that leaves behind hurtful and dangerous narratives and focuses on what counts most—extending a compassionate hand to those who need one.

About the Author
Eli Verschleiser is an American businessman. He is a financier, real estate developer, and investor in commercial real estate projects located primarily throughout the United States. In his Philanthropy, Mr. Verschleiser is a board member of the American Jewish Congress, Co-Founder of, & Chairman of OurPlace, a non-profit organization that provides support, shelter, and counseling for troubled Jewish youth. Mr. Verschleiser is a frequent commentator on political and social services matters. Follow @E_Verschleiser
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