Letting your mind wander helps with grief

What is grief?

Grief is the feeling of profound loss. Only experiencing grief first-hand can give you an idea how hard-hitting it is. Grief is about your loved one, friend, and so on, not being with you anymore and your belief (that’s all it is, a belief) where they end up next.

If you’re an atheist-materialist, it’s obvious. They are gone forever. Sure, you have memories of that person and you could probably use AI to come up with some kind of a digital representation of that person… but that’s all it is. A fake. That person is gone and you’ll never see them again. It’s especially painful if it was a sudden death you had witnessed. And, as we know, in post-covid era it’s creepily common for people to ”drop dead suddenly.” No, it’s not a conspiracy theory. I know several cases where people absolutely not into conspiracy theories ended up in hospitals with dangerous blood clots. Was it the vax? Likely, but no one’s going to say it openly, of course.

Well, they could be alive in some parallel universe, but we have no way to get there, so it’s just pointless philosophizing.

I’ve no doubt there are going to be digital copies of dead people in the digital afterlife and we are going to be told they are the dead ”digitally resurrected.” We’re going to be told they are the dead brought back to life. To me, that’s crossing the line. Satanic, at the risk of sounding like a religious loon. If you’re an atheist and can’t accept someone’s gone, cherishing their memories and celebrating their life is fine – but trying to recreate them in whatever capacity, that’s going too far. They are gone and are never coming back. Grief is perfectly justified, particularly if their death was a sudden one.

Now, if you’re religious and you’re confident the dead are waiting for you in the afterlife – whatever that afterlife might be – your grief shouldn’t take too long. What for? You are going to see them again, right? Now, here, you might have concerns whether you’re going to end up in the same place. You can control where you end up by the way you live your life. Are you going to remember who they are and are they going to remember you? I once asked a priest that question about heaven. He said that yes, people do remember who they were. But then, what about the till death do us part? To me, it might mean our soulmates aren’t necessarily the people we’re married to here on Earth. Our soulmates might be people we’ve never met, yet there’s a divine link between you and someone else you’ve never met. Why? Good question. God’s perfect choice, for all we know.

Can you communicate with the dead? Or only by praying to God and relaying the message? Catholicism is against praying to the dead/trying to communcate with them, yet it’s my understanding souls in purgatory are allowed to leave their ”prison” and ask for prayers at times (prayer is supposed to expedite their way to heaven). What I find a bit unnerving is how little there is about purgatory. It’s supposed to be some kind of a fire cleansing of sins (what) but you’ll be surprised to find how little there is about purgatory in religious texts, scripture, etc. The concept of purgatory is rejected by many religions and beliefs, of course.

We sometimes say ‘fly like an eagle’ about someone who died. It makes me wonder – what if souls can indeed fly and some souls search for a new home and attach themselves to someone? Maybe it’s someone who resonates with them for whatever reason? Become spirit guides, dybbuks, and so on? Even wait to incarnate in a particular family? Then we have other dimensions. Who’s to say souls can’t cross between realities and incarnate in some similar, or vastly different, version of Earth, or another planet?

Yes, it’s highly speculative, I get you. I’m a practical person but I believe we ought to let our minds wander sometimes. Or fly like eagles. Grief is often about the unanswered questions.

Letting your mind wander across the universe can give you answers and cope with the feeling of loss without drowning in sorrow. There are three options – you are never going to see this person again (atheism), and you can rely on your memories, etc., you are going to meet this person again (religion, non-denominational beliefs); this person/not exactly this person but their parallel universe version is with you, just in spirit.

Make of it what you will. I know such theorizing, that’s all it is, can help with grief.