Looking through orange-colored glasses

The color orange has become emotionally charged, and last week, as we learned the definitive fate of Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas, I was overwhelmed with negative emotions.  To take away some of the pain, I spoiled my kids with orange soda and Cheetos.

My logic was that I should appreciate my children a little more than usual because Yarden had lost his. The first thing that came to mind was to make them smile. And my children always smile when they get sugary drinks and junk food.

That wasn’t my mistake. I am OK with giving my kids the occasional unhealthy treat. I am not the fitness professional who will tell you that any food is “bad” and you must avoid it forever.

I realized my mistake on Sunday when I took my children to their martial arts class. As I was packing, I went to put my laptop in their equipment bag. Inside, I saw my daughter’s orange shin-guards, and realized where I was missing the mark.

In January, Vatos, the MMA gym where we all train, moved to a bigger location. This move was great because the old location had been a bit overcrowded for the classes. But the advantage of the smaller place was there was no place for me to be except sitting and watching their classes.

The new location has a large lobby with chairs and tables, perfect for getting some work done on my laptop while the kids have their classes. And it was January. As an online fitness coach, January is always busy, and I saw an opportunity to squeeze in some more work time.

One of the reasons we chose this activity for our kids is that while my daughter was doing gymnastics, she would get upset when I spent the class on my phone. And if I had to watch her do the activity, week in and week out, I wanted her to do something interesting for me.

If I had only taken those hours during my January rush and then returned to watching their classes, I would have been ok with that. Being an entrepreneur is hard work, and I am also taking care of my kids by running a successful business. Sometimes, I have to get more work done or travel instead of being with them, which is part of life.

But I don’t want it to be the norm, and when the January rush ended, I kept working instead of watching my kids learn martial arts. It just felt like such a great opportunity to squeeze in a few more hours of work every week.

The orange reminded me that spoiling my children isn’t the only thing I can do to show my gratitude that G-d has gifted me wonderful, healthy children. I can also be a present and involved parent. The orange helped me realize that I was not being present and involved — I was prioritizing work over my relationship with my children.

So I left the laptop at home. Instead of working, I watched the kids while doing some light stretching. I noticed how much they have improved since I last paid attention.

My daughter noticed that I was watching and told me during a break that she was happy I was watching.

I immediately smiled, and remembered a message that one of my close friends sent me on WhatsApp when I told him about my feelings and spoiling my kids with orange junk food.

“The best thing to do in their memory (and when faced with terrorism generally) is to live and love.”