Love God or Leave Him?

Do you love God?

It’s a strange question when you really think about it. But it’s an important one.

It could be read as a challenge or some type of accusation, like you’re being interrogated and forced to declare your allegiance, or else…

But let’s not read it that way. Let’s read it simply as a big question, like are you happy, or what is your most poignant memory of childhood, or what do you fear most, or if you could accomplish one thing more before you pass from this world, what would it be? One of those questions that you cannot answer quickly, and that might actually open up some pretty interesting doorways in your mind if you allow yourself the time to really consider it.

Do you love God?

Or maybe we should begin with a prior question: do you believe in God? Whether or not you comprehend precisely what God is, do you have feelings for this creative force – gratitude, anger, indifference, resentment, fear, love? What do you picture when you think of God? An old long-bearded man in flowing white gowns, a blazing fire, a blinding light, a storm cloud, a judge and jury. Where do these images come from? What do they represent about our conception of God and our feelings toward Him or Her or It?

In this week’s parsha, Vaeschanan, we are told explicitly how we are to feel about God: “V’ahavta es A-donai E-lohecha b’chol levavecha, u’v’chol nafshecha u’v’chol meodecha/You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5). It is a well-known verse that we recite twice daily in the Shema prayer. Rashi comments on this verse that one must serve God with love, because if one serves Him only out of fear, “if the master overburdens him, he will stop serving him and leave.”

It seems that, generally speaking, for those who believe in God, there are two basic categories of our feelings for Him, love and fear. And there also seem to be two general categories in one’s relationship with God, one either serves Him or s/he does not. If one does serve God, s/he can do so because s/he loves Him or because s/he fears Him. If one serves God for fear of punishment, Rashi teaches, then this service is liable to fail if one feels overburdened. But if one’s service of God is motivated by love, then her/his devotion will be constant and unthreatened.

Where do you stand in this framework? Do you feel love for God, or are you afraid of God? Do you try to fulfill His will, and if so is it because you desire reward, because you dread the consequences of disobedience, because you want to reciprocate the kindness of the One who grants you life and everything you have and are?

None of these are simple questions. And the answers are certainly not black and white. Like all of our relationships, our feelings for God are complex. They are fluid and co-mingled, and they ebb and flow. But as Rashi explains, we must not be satisfied with a relationship that is predicated on fear of God and we must cultivate deep feelings of love. How do we do so?

The verses subsequent to “v’ahavta/you shall love” provide the answer: “And these words which I command you to today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them to your children, and you shall speak of them, when you sit in your home, when you go on the way, when you lay down to sleep, and when you arise” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Love, according to Torah, is not something that happens to you. It is not something that you fall into. It is the result of constant attention, intention, consideration, and cultivation.

We recite the words “you shall love the Lord your God…” twice daily as a mantra that helps us to focus our consciousness and direct our concentration. We remind ourselves to ask the question daily, if not constantly: do I love God? Or am I merely going through the motions? Am I motivated by fear and self-interest, or by gratitude and a sense of purpose? Do I feel God’s love for me in every breath He grants me, in every sunrise, in every interaction with my loved ones and every opportunity I have to connect with someone else and lighten their load?

When we ask ourselves these questions consistently and sincerely, we will feel God’s presence and providence in our lives. Rather than a life predicated on fear and a relationship based on carrot-and-stick type incentives and threats, we will will experience a profound sense of joy, meaning, and purpose. “You shall love the Lord your God” will be understood not as a command – you MUST love God – but as a promise – you WILL love God, because you will sensitive yourself to perceiving and appreciating the deep love that He has and constantly expresses for you.

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Pnei Hashem is an introduction to the deepest depths of the human experience based on the esoteric teachings of Torah.  www.pneihashem.com