Maidens in a Tu B’Av tizz
A leaked memo threatens to stop all Tu B’Av festivities in Israeli vineyards and green spaces across the country. Knesset members of the subcommittee appointed by the Ministry of Religious Services to regulate public activities on Tu B’Av are concerned that the vested interests of various lobby groups highlighted in the memo could lead to violent protests.
Readers will recall the details originally recounted in the Mishnah [Ta’anit 4:8]. In short, the 15th of Av is the day when the young women of Jerusalem would go out in borrowed white clothes and dance in the vineyards. Rather coquettishly, they would suggest to the young men to lift their eyes and choose a wife, with a reminder not to focus just on beauty but on someone who is God-fearing and values family.
While the full memo remains under wraps, this writer [who has been privy to rare manuscripts in the past] was given exclusive access to certain redacted paragraphs on the condition that her source remain anonymous.
The Union of Shadchanim: Popular shadcan Tali Beshert spoke to the committee through her tears. ‘Tu B’Av is a very stressful day for matchmakers… my week is spent going through resumes, making phone calls, checking references, giving advice to young people, comforting anxious parents. I take it all very seriously. However, business slows down for at least a month just before Tu B’Av as single people realise they could bypass matchmaker services all together by going out into the vineyard. They figure it’s worth waiting a month to see if they have any luck on Tu B’Av itself.’ There’s an economic reality; the average shadchan’s fee has increased in the last few years and while men are expected to pay for the first few dates, many of them are starting to complain that it’s not really ‘value for money.’ The idea that Tu B’av actively encourages men and women to meet without an intermediary is a gamechanger – one that shadchanim are very unhappy about.
University Academics: Several professors argue that Tu B’Av celebrations should be cancelled in response to the proposed laws promoting increased gender segregation in higher education. Not only does this law threaten academic freedom and equality, but as one professor of psychology explained ‘it also threatens the practice of young women dancing in the fields. Our campuses are set in beautiful gardens, but gender segregation will mean that the men will not be within spitting distance of these brainy beauties. It’s hard enough for clever women to find suitable partners, but this law will make it virtually impossible.’
Charedi Women’s Alliance: A group of women from Bnei Brak have lodged a formal complaint, arguing that it is a complete breach of modesty for women to be dancing in a public space. ‘This is not the way for Jewish girls to behave,’ explained Batsheva Tzniusdig, ‘letting men watch them dance around. And the dresses? Sleeveless, backless, short, sheer – this is not something that is for our community. We have our own methods that have worked well for hundreds of years – you can’t just pluck a girl from here, a boy from there – what sort of narishkeit is this?’ Further, in their pashkevilim [broadsides] posted around Bnei Brak, Ramat Beit Shemesh, Geula and Kiryat Sefer they condemn the reframing of Tu B’Av as a Jewish Valentine’s Day. It cheapens the day’s significance given that historically there were many significant events as outlined in the Talmud (Ta’anit 30b–31a) that created unity among the Jewish people.
Talmud Scholars: Male control of religious texts and a history of unilateral rabbinic decision-making served to ensure that women were socially and economically dependent on their husbands. Radical scholars have suggested that Tu B’Av was a compassionate and creative invention for the unbetrothed woman as it gave her the opportunity to put herself ‘out there.’ However, art critic Tova Ayin argues in her seminal article on the male gaze that ‘it was humiliating for these young women in the vineyard…men leering at them, picking out the prettiest maiden. What happened to the women who weren’t picked?’ Indeed, the Mishnah does not elaborate on this inevitability and the current ‘shidduch crisis’ can be traced back to the origins of Tu B’Av.
Society for Jewish Dance: Much like the scholars engaged in capturing the last vestiges of Jewish rare languages or music, Jewish dance moves are waiting to be documented. Rikuda Debenstein, a well known folk dancer has wanted access to the Tu B’Av vineyards to film the dances and speak to some of those who have been dancing in the fields for many years. Understandably, the maidens are hesitant to be even further objectified, even though a small group of them understand the cultural significance of documenting dance steps such as the Tza’ad Temani and Mayim Step. Some of these women are desperate for the Mezinka – a dance when the last daughter in a family is symbolically ‘swept out’ of the family home with a broom at her wedding.
Human Trafficking Activists: ‘If she was my daughter,’ said one woman who wished to remain anonymous, ‘I would try and stop her. What’s the difference between letting men know you’re available in a vineyard and a woman soliciting for sex around Tel Aviv’s old central bus station?’ These are particularly vulnerable women and the tradition of exchanging white dresses between rich and poor girls so they all feel equal is very noble but we still have a duty of care towards these women and promoting Tu B’Av as ‘innocent fun’ makes a mockery of their human rights.
With only a few hours till Tu B’Av and no resolution in sight, tensions are high. There’s been a flurry of last minute negotiations and intense lobbying from the anti-Tu B’Av camp. Meanwhile, hundreds of women in flowing white dresses have started to gather outside the Knesset. Many of them are holding placards, ‘Our bodies, Our choice.’ Trucks from boutique wineries across the country are on their way with crates of their finest bottles. ‘If they can’t dance in the vineyards, we’ll bring the fruits of the vineyard to them,’ said Shuli Gefen. ‘And can I tell you something? I’m also looking for a wife, so I thought I’d try my luck.’
