Matot and Masei – Aliyah and Marriage Connections

On the heels of commemorating the most singular heroic and daring journey and mission of Israel’s history – the Rescue at Entebbe, comes along the commemoration of a different and unique journey of the Jewish people as recorded in this week’s combined Torah portions of Matot–Masei. And in both instances the common denominators are the following:

 (1) the destination of each of the respective journeys is “HOME” to Eretz Yisrael – the land of Israel; and

 (2)  the message of honoring commitments is featured as a catalyst despite the hardships along the way

Two topics which epitomize the two points are Aliyah and marriage – each requiring dedication and commitment and continual revitalization.

On a Personal Level

Every year, when we read Matot and Masei together, I find myself reflecting on two of the greatest journeys of my own life.

One brought me physically home to Israel through Aliyah.

The other has become my life’s calling: helping couples via marriage education and enrichment to undertake their respective journeys with optimism and determination to establish and nurture true homes for the Jewish people.

I discuss both of these topics in an interview I gave as a guest on Lesley Kaplan’s Monday Motivation Spotlight Podcast Series, the links of which are below:

YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_qAYxyZsS8

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4LTixR1T3UcqJgvNSTKNsI

Part One: Matot: Words and Commitments matter

The Torah portion of Matot opens with vows and the significance of honoring what vows we make even within the context of a marriage engagement and marriage – even for things considered inconsequential. The Torah portion goes through an incredible elaboration of vows made even during only a six-month period of time by a 12 to 12- and one-half year old “woman” who became engaged during that age span (yes marriages were quite young then!).

THE LESSON

A lesson that we can derive from the portion is the significance of honoring our marriage commitments – especially the ones made under the chuppah and in the binding Ketubah. One of the reasons why I chose marriage education as a way to commemorate the 52 years of marriage of my parents was to show that despite the hardships of illness (which in my beloved mother’s case was Alzheimer’s disease) the commitment of a couple to the bonds and obligations of marriage are sacrosanct and require acceptance of the trials and tribulations of marriage.

The portion of Matot demonstrates how significant vow commitments are biblically considered and enforced. Modern day divorces have become too commonplace regrettably and this divorce crisis has accelerated my passion for marriage education with its focus on providing skills that research has associated with healthy and happy marriages and its focus on prevention.

Part Two: Masei: Journeys – an Aliyah and Marriage connection

What I found fascinating about the portion of Masei is its elaboration of 42 stages that the Israelites travelled prior to entering Eretz Yisrael. Each destination is mentioned and I always take a biblical map to be able to trace the journeys which are complicated and irregular! However, the commentators indicate that although the trip required hardships, each stop symbolized a place of healing and essential part of the ultimate journey. And the biblical narrative has served as a roadmap for those pursuing Aliyah and a source of encouragement.

Aliyah – Bumps along the Road

In truth, as I mentioned in the interview I gave today, whose links are provided above, the road to Aliyah is likewise for most of us a winding path that has its peaks and valleys, but finds its “HOME” destination with determination and perseverance. In my own journey, it took a visit to the Homeland 2 weeks before the Gulf War (where a stay at the King David Hotel made for an enticing Aliyah residence) and a very frank and audacious Israeli consulate representative to accelerate my own Aliyah timetable from 10 years to one year!!

THE JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE

Another connection with Masei relates to the subject of Marriage and the stages that comprise the Marital Journey.

One of the most interesting aspects of Marriage Education can be summarized by its focus on 3 B” s: the B – Benefits of Marriage; B- the Behavior of Marriage and B – the Benchmarks of Marriage. The philosophy is that if you understand and keep the benefits in mind you can withstand the hardships which the various stages often produce. And the more you learn about expectations and what each stage symbolizes a couple likewise can take out the toolbox of skills taught with Marriage Educations curriculum to anticipate the remedy with little disruption and confrontations.

Also, another interesting point connecting Marriage and the portion is the delineation of borders. The portion goes into elaboration of the interior borders marking our rightful property biblical rights and their sanctity. Likewise in marriage education the idea of respecting personal boundaries is a hallmark skill to be internalized. No matter which stage of marriage from engaged to empty nesters, the concept of respect is emphasized and is a constant thread to be continuously safeguarded.

JOINING THE JOURNEY

One of the most fascinating aspects of my own journey via Aliyah to undertake Marriage education and enrichment is that I had no background whatsoever in the field of marriage education – just a burning desire to find the right fit for memorializing my parents’ marriage – so I have discovered in the years since establishing the non-profit Together in Happiness that anyone can learn the skills which epitomize marriage education – the emphasis on communication and problem solving and conflict resolution etc. and learn to facilitate a marriage education curriculum or just learn skills as a couple with the plethora of books and materials available (yes I am an Amazon Kindle junkie).

All that it takes is willingness to advocate for the importance of marriage education and enrichment and or learn the skills as a couple – there are a number of roles to assume in the journey for marital wellbeing. Our non profit invites the participation of anyone with an interest in Marriage to join the Journey of Marriage Education and Enrichment – no credentials required but Belief in the Cause.

Let us take Lessons from the double portion – MAKE THE COMMITMENT AND KEEP IT AND BE WILLING TO WITHSTAND THE JOURNEYS COMPRISING THE STAGES OF MARRIAGE and KEEP GROWING WITH EDUCATION and with that dedication, we can preserve the continuity of our people and ensure our heritage will be sustained and our ultimate covenant protected for future rewards and inheritance.