Mayim Bialik doesn’t owe anyone an apology

Mayim Bialik, please don’t apologize for anything you said.

People just love taking things out of context and blaming others for it.

That’s what they do best.

You know what they say, “The way you see others is how you see yourself.”

The person in front of us is a mirror to ourselves. 

You clearly mentioned in your article that there is no excuse for sexual harassment or rape.

You were simply talking about your experiences in Hollywood and how you chose to be seen as a woman.

By the way, you wrote such a beautiful piece, but it got me thinking with all the comments you received about how you so-called “blame the victim.” 

The people who commented about that, about how you “blame the victim,” in a way they think that, as women, we have some kind of responsibility. 

They may think that, but they blame it on you, and that’s what I was trying to say, when I said that the person in front of us is a mirror to ourselves.

Because in the article that you wrote, you never said anything about how, if someone is dressed modestly, they’ll never get raped. 

But, this is what the people who blame you for it, that’s what they think.

I’m telling you, that’s what they think. 

Because, otherwise how did they come up with all these things you didn’t even say? 

So, instead of them taking responsibility and saying that they themselves think that, as women, we do have some type of responsibility, they blame you.

Now, not to say that women are ever to blame but, as a woman, as a rape victim, and as someone who was sexually touched inappropriately, I’m not just going to sit there and lie.

I was sexually harassed by a married man, an Orthodox religious man, while wearing the most modest clothing ever.

I was even touched inappropriately as a little girl. 

But there were some incidents that happened to me that I could have prevented by not meeting men in their apartments or hotel rooms, or dressing provocatively and seducing them, and naively expecting them not to touch me. 

There was one incident where I was almost raped in Jerusalem.

I was walking, very provocatively dressed, in the middle of the night, flirting with a bunch of men in a dark alley. 

One of them grabbed me from behind, and tried to pull me down. 

I screamed so loud, and Hashem saved me. 

Could this incident have been prevented? 

Yes. 

What was I doing, walking in a dark alley, in the streets of Jerusalem in the middle of the night? 

Am I blaming myself?

No, I’m not. 

It’s called taking responsibility. 

I shouldn’t have been out at this time, in an isolated area. 

It’s not to say that anyone has the right to touch me, they don’t. 

But, as a woman, I can’t be so naive to the fact that rapists and drunk people can roam around the streets at such late hours, and it is dangerous. 

So, there, I said it. 

We can take some responsibility as women. 

Let’s stop meeting men in their apartments, unless we really know them. 

Let’s stop walking in dark alleys at night, and stop taking rides with strangers.  Let’s take responsibilities for the things we can do as people, just like anything else in life. 

That’s not to say that rape is %100 preventable, but in some cases, as harsh as it sounds, it is preventable if we take precautions. 

About the Author
Anat Ghelber was born in Israel and moved to Texas when she was 13. She experienced anti-Semitism in public schools there. She moved to New York City when she was 20, and is currently studying for a Bachelor of Arts in Social Work. She started submitting articles to the Jewish Voice two years ago. In her free time enjoys writing poems. She's also a certified Yoga teacher with 200 hours of training who teaches in a donation-based studio called Yoga to the People in New York City.
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