Mein Gut, What a Shonda!

Mein gut, what a shonda!

I attended  a Zoom telephonic conference, when I noticed a Jewish participant from a major news network and a major American magazine “spilling his seed” on the screen.

I immediately recalled Genesis 38:9, “And Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother.” G-d killed Onan for spilling his seed on the ground.

I thought, “G-d was pretty tough on those ancient Hebrews.”

Still curious, I wondered, “How tough the American rabbinical community would be on this modern-day onanist?

To find out, I decided to view my favorite rabbinical message board.

Here is what I read in verbatim:

This guy is an embarrassment to the Jews people around the world!

I’m in a state of shock. Why is it always happening to us Jews?

Where did this guy attend Hebrew school?

If he is still a member of a shul, he should be shunned and excommunicated.

Does this meshugenah need to be housed in a mental institution?

Should all computers in his home be confiscated?

Did he learn this abhorrent behavior at Harvard?

Are his parents still alive—to chastise him?

What type of  network would allowed this schmendrick on TV?

Has he committed any Zoom crimes?

This is a schlimazel of the highest degree. I bet his career is fartig.

We are a forgiving people but this guy has gone way over the line.

He says he made an embarrassing stupid mistake, believing he was off-camera. But will G-d forgive him?

The last rabbi wrapped it up nicely, “The Jewish world is full of tsuris.—A plague, rampant Anti-Semitism in America, Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran attacking Israel, European Jews living in fear and this is what you talk about.

Shame on you!

Get a life!