Some Jews are blond with blue eyes. Some are tall. Some Jews have tiny noses and almost march when they walk. Some Jews speak the national tongue the same as their Goyishe (Goy and Jew are no slurs) landsmen. But not so Moish Rosewasser. Even his friends teased him about it. “Was it you who stood model for Goebbels‘ cartoons?” “You surely don’t need to wear the star.”
But, as stereotypical as he looked, as uncommon was his opinion. And on top of that, at his every free moment, he would stand at a street corner shouting: “Hitler is the most moral leader Germany has ever had, and I can prove it.” “Nebbich, Moish has lost his mind,” his friends would say. “The fear has gotten to him.”
Soon, Gentile journalists from all over Germany started reporting on this unusual feat. They began interviewing him, but he would tell them all the same thing: “I’ll just prove it opposite Hitler because only he can confirm I’m right.” He became a national sensation, and within no time, the Führer too had heard of Moish. “Bring him to me,” he ordered. “And I want all leaders who answer to me to be present.”
When he entered, he didn’t look at him. “What have you been saying,” he commanded. “That you are the most ethical leader Germany and Europe ever had.” “Prove it.” “Who is amoral? Someone who says and does whatever he feels like. But you weigh every word you write or speak and your every deed. Even when you throw a fit, you calculated, if that’s right.” “But what if I made errors of judgment?” “Mistakes are never evil. You are only wicked if you persist after finding out you made a mistake.”
Suddenly, Adolf put his head on his desk and started sobbing. For at least ten minutes. And then he sat up straight and said: “Moish is my new Prime Minister. I hereby annul all decrees against all Jews and any other groups. Obviously, I made mistakes. Anyone still found attacking or conspiring against any group will be locked up.” When one of the generals then inquired after his health, he shouted back: “That is the last time I tolerated insubordination from you. A next time, you’re dead.”
Then he continued: “I want all German science, medicine, banks, financial institutions, and news reporting from now on be headed by the most competent Jews around. Anyone who was bullied, insulted, or hurt because of what group they belong to will be compensated. There will be comprehensive laws and widespread education against racism and Antisemitism. I want us to make Germany great again.”
And then, Moish woke up. It was his last dream in Auschwitz.