Audrey Biloon

More on the last frontier

To catch up to speed, please read, The Last Frontier, my other blog on this topic……

We’ve all heard it said when a younger man dates an older woman it’s only about money. That statement is a complete generalization. Few would say that if the genders were reversed. In fact, in that case, the emphasis is on congratulations rather than criticism.

The only way we, as women, will ever win gender equality, in dating and marriage, will be to make the age rules as equal for our gender, as we age, as it is for men. And only we, as women of all ages, can really do that.

Until older men accept older women equally and don’t discard us as we age, younger women need to stop dating older men. As long as men (and too many women) discriminate against older women (and are blind to their abuse) it’s going to be up to us -as we age- to stop the prejudice. We need to willingly accept dates with younger men (who aren’t the main discriminators) and teach older men not to discriminate against us as we age, by teaching younger women (as the first in line gate keepers of equality or discrimination), to stop dating older men until age gender equality, in dating and marriage, for older women is as much the norm, as it is for older men.

Like it or not, younger women, by their buy-in to the discrimination, make it harder for older women than men do…and women of all ages, so self conscious about being called cougars and being talked about if they buck the system….also don’t help their own unfair situation.

If younger women keep the gates open, welcoming older men, while older men (and women who titter about the tables turned) close the gates to older women, discrimination against older women will stay alive and well and will backfire on younger women as they age.

The gender tables need to be turned and both genders need to accept older women dating much younger men as perfectly natural and -until age isn’t a factor for older women- younger women need to put a stop to the major part they’re playing in this horribly future self defeating situation.

The bottom line is that women of all ages need to stop being self critical about aging. That will require an all out boycott of companies that advertise women as washed up as they get older and to make the media take notice of, and rectify, the discrimination in place. Just as other previously discriminated groupings are now shown as normal, because of their raised voices, older women need to make their voices heard among the media and advertising sectors.

No older man would stand for the emotional gender discrimination abuse that has gone on over countless centuries. Why should older women allow it to continue in these modern times when no other previously discriminated group does? And, to add insult to that injury, why should older women be ashamed about (rather than of) themselves for accepting the abuse?

Until ALL older women change their shame into action against younger women and older men for the discrimination imposed, and against themselves for allowing that abuse insidiously fester, healthy self respect, for us as a group, will continue to be out of our reach. The problem will not get better until ALL women ask: “If not now, when?” and act in a self respecting way, accordingly.

About the Author
Having been a teacher, social worker, radio show host(ess), newspaper columnist and lawyer, Audrey, now retired, writes, teaches improv, performs stand up comedy, and continues to practice turning stress into gratitude……which is sort of like practicing law: the practice won’t always result in perfection.
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