I am saddened to report that my favorite brother, my only brother, Theo, yesterday morning in the Netherlands has passed away after a short sickbed.
He was actually never sick. But after the first corona vaccination, he suddenly became so tired. From the vaccination, he thought. After the second, he got even more tired. After that, his GP was on vacation. But when he returned and saw him, he immediately sent him to a specialist. After one CT scan in the hospital and some consultation, the verdict came: there is nothing more we can do for you, you still have 3-6 months. Nothing to do with the vaccination. Theo to his partner Astrid: Let’s go home. That was two weeks ago. Dismissing it as from the vaccination had spared him weeks of medical follow-ups and alternatives that wouldn’t have helped anyway.
I asked if I should come immediately to say goodbye or if I could take a day or two to have more choice of flights. Take your time, he said. “Of course, you never know, but I think I have until July 1 — if I make it.” He made it. He didn’t need any more. “A week to put things in order and a week to say goodbye.” He adjusted his last will twice. Married at the last minute to the great love of his life. (After all the disastrous relationships, he never wanted to get married again, but for the past 4.5 years, he was finally happy with someone his equal. His wife is very proud that she is now Mrs. Van Zuiden forever.)
It was nice to be able to say goodbye. I went with my favorite daughter. We didn’t have any old hurt yet to express. We had an excellent relationship for years. But it was good to be able to look each other in the eye one more time, and to say something to each other. Not the same as over the phone or Skype — as we know after a year of Zooming.
My brother was a very special person. Everyone is, but some are more special than others. Extremely honest. And when you are so honest, you also have a crystal clear vision. Was never afraid to give advice to anyone. Straightforward. And almost limitlessly generous. Just like our parents, an expert in giving. And when he promised something, you could count on it. Was often misunderstood because people like him are almost non-existent. He just wanted to do good. Didn’t need anger — being surprised and disappointed was enough for him. Lived soberly and modestly. Worked extremely hard. Was too strict on himself, a family ailment with long roots. A huge sense of humor and quick-witted. Life was serious business, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have fun every now and then.
We were not raised in the religion and he stayed away from official Judaism. But not because he was an atheist. He was angry with G^d for abandoning us in World War II. According to good Dutch-Jewish custom, he did not drink a drop of alcohol. He was against euthanasia. He also did not say goodbye to his wife. “We’ll meet again, and I’ll be waiting for you.” He wanted to come to Israel with Astrid, but the coronavirus pandemic interfered.
He leaves behind: his wife, two daughters, a foster son, brother, sister, their children, and a very diverse group of close friends. May his memory be for us a blessing and give us strength.
Death is so absolute but also so relative; because you can bring to life the one you love, in part in yourself, and never stop talking to them. Also, when I got married in Jerusalem, I couldn’t invite my 100+-year-old aunt from the Netherlands. But she died just before the wedding day. So, she could come after all.
G^d willing, I will be sitting shiva in my apartment after the funeral, from next week Thursday evening.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
