My Circuitous Journey Towards Learning Hebrew and Hadassah Leadership

Celebrating birthdays at our Ladies Who Lunch celebration in November 2023. Seated left to right: Ellen Weber, Arlene Lomazoff-Marron. Standing: Carolyn Grandis. Photo courtesy of the author.

The author with her published books: Beneath A Blanket of Snow and If We Had Known. Photo courtesy of the author.

Since I grew up near a synagogue in Philadelphia, you might think it would have been likely that I’d attend Hebrew School. My parents, however, though Jewish by birth, had little religious upbringing themselves. Raising two daughters on a meager income was difficult enough for them without paying for Hebrew education or synagogue membership. Therefore, I rarely entered the synagogue except to attend free services during the High Holidays. I always felt like an outsider during those times because I couldn’t read Hebrew and had little familiarity with the customary prayers.

I married a Jewish man, who also could not read Hebrew. When our two sons attended Hebrew school and began practicing for their bar mitzvahs, it was disappointing to be unable to help them with their Torah portion and to lack understanding of the ancient words and phrases Jews have been reciting for centuries.

When it was time for our third child, a girl, to start Hebrew school, she questioned why she needed to attend. Raised as a Reform Jew, she knew females were not necessarily expected to go to Hebrew school. My reply was simple: “You need to go because I didn’t.” I wanted her to feel comfortable in a synagogue and among other Jews in other settings as well. She didn’t fully grasp my answer, but she complied.

My busy schedule as a full-time registered nurse (RN), part-time student of advanced nursing courses, and, later, single parent, regretfully left me with little time to learn Hebrew. I recall attending an evening Hebrew class for a session or two. As a result, I could identify a few Hebrew letters or simple words in the prayer book, but attending synagogue services was still an uncomfortable experience. I mumbled prayers and followed other congregants as they turned prayer book pages, under the pretense that I was an active participant. When I married again, I signed my name in Hebrew on the ketubah (Jewish marriage contract), which I could not read.

Turning 50 awakened within me a newfound thirst for learning. As my children became self-sufficient, I took courses to become a legal nurse consultant (an RN who works with lawyers and other legal professionals to provide medical expertise on legal cases, including, for example, medical malpractice, personal injury and workers’ compensation).

I developed a passion for bicycling, started practicing yoga and played Mah Jongg, while continuing to work as an RN. I took piano lessons, an experience not available to me while growing up. I visited Israel. Then a friend invited me to a Hadassah event and I enjoyed it so much that I joined Hadassah. The following year, I became a life member.

I continued to think about learning Hebrew, but I wanted a more personalized experience than an internet course would provide. I bought a book that introduced Hebrew letters, one by one—no more than two per chapter. I learned a few more Hebrew letters, but months later, I had forgotten most of what I had learned. I contemplated taking courses at a local synagogue but didn’t pursue it.

At age 63, days away from retirement, a coworker mentioned it was time for me to take up something on my bucket list. Without hesitation, I responded that I would write a novel, despite the fact that I had not thought about writing since my teenage years.

As an adolescent, I aspired to become a writer, but I pursued a nursing career instead. Three months following my coworker’s comment, I completed the first chapter of a novel. Within two weeks, the US and much of the world were forced to quarantine, thanks to the COVID 19 pandemic. I stayed indoors and wrote, self-publishing my first novel in 2020. Then I wrote and published two more.

Writing a novel was a hidden desire on my bucket list, while learning Hebrew had been a long-standing aspiration. I wondered, “If I could write three novels, why couldn’t I learn Hebrew?”

Unexpectedly, a new chance arose in July of last year. The rabbi at the Chabad of Delaware County synagogue, which my husband and I attend (about 15 miles from my childhood home), announced that a congregant named Mark had offered to teach Hebrew to anyone wishing to learn. I pushed back my fears of failure and emailed the rabbi. Mark arrived at my home two weeks later with a gift for me, a copy of Miiko Shaffier’s book, Learn to Read Hebrew in 6 Weeks!  

Mark shared his story of leaving Judaism after his bar mitzvah and his return over five decades later. Using this book, he had reacquainted himself with the fundamentals of Hebrew. I studied one chapter per week for six weeks and learned the consonants and vowels. But I didn’t stop there. I mastered reading prayers from the siddur (prayer book), as well as learning to decode Hebrew words and prayers I had memorized. My ability to read a few passages from the prayer book during High Holiday services set a wondrous tone for the new year. At our last seder, I read the Four Questions in Hebrew.

At one point, Mark revealed a secret to me: The rabbi expected only men to respond to his offer. A few men had inquired about it, but I was the only person to accept it. Perhaps they lacked the courage to try something new or the patience to study.

Though I accomplished my goal, I’m not planning to stop now. Just as I practice piano several times per week to improve my technique, I read Hebrew a few times a week.

In 2024, I became president of my Hadassah chapter, Main Line Yassky. Reading Hebrew and spending time with Jewish women has had a significant positive impact on my life. After years of focusing on my family, I’m fortunate to have the time and ability to support Hadassah’s causes, Israel, and the Jewish community. I’ve become a leader, a role I never expected and would have avoided as a younger adult. Volunteering as an RN at a clinic has helped me to maintain my skills and give back to society.

This June, I attended my 50-year high school reunion and reflected on all I’ve accomplished in the past half century, much of it in the past 15 years. While others my age think their days of learning are long gone, I know that age is just a number. There’s no limit to how much one can learn. I can’t wait to see what learning adventures the ensuing years bring!

The Hadassah Writers’ Circle is a dynamic and diverse writing group for leaders and members to express their thoughts and feelings about all the things Hadassah does to make the world a better place, to celebrate their personal Hadassah journeys and to share their Jewish values, family traditions and interpretations of Jewish texts.  Since 2019, the Hadassah Writers’ Circle has published nearly 450 columns in the Times of Israel Blog and other Jewish media outlets. Interested? Please contact hwc@hadassah.org.