Name That Jew – Part Two?

I noticed that one of the most popular blog articles during the past week was “I’m that Jew“, an excellent piece of writing by Eitan Chitayat in which he expresses solidarity with the many different types of members of our little tribe.  After reading the article a few times, I came away with a few conclusions: a few serious, and one quite silly.

The serious conclusions:

• Eitan Chitayat is a very talented young writer.
• At times of tragedy or struggle like these, it is important to re-affirm the unity of our People and to demonstrate ahavat yisrael.
• Franz Rozenzweig‘s profound dictum, “Nothing Jewish is alien to me”, remains an important guidepost while great diversity of thought and practice define modern Jewish life.

The silly conclusion:

• Lots of Jews really enjoy reading lists of other Jews.

The famous SNL Hanukkah Song should have made this point obvious to me, but the positive response to Chitayat’s article really brought the message home.  Succumbing to my sillier instincts, and deciding it’s best to “go with the flow”, I have decided to publish my own rhyming list of Jews.  Who knows, I might even break the record for the most links to Wikipedia within a single TOI blog post.  Enjoy!

• So funny, rhymes with tickles Jew.
• The king of kosher pickles Jew.
• His writing is ironic Jew.
• His music was symphonic Jew.
• A really famous writer Jew. (him too, her too, etc.)
• A Warsaw Ghetto fighter Jew.
• A PM who was chubby Jew.
• A PM like my bubby Jew.
• As old as Abe Vigoda Jew.
• A small and cute like Yoda Jew.
• A founder of the nation Jew. (plus him, and him, etc.)
• Electronic innovation Jew.
• Known as The Jazz Singer Jew.
• Looks like he’s a swinger Jew.
• A knows how to direct Jew.
• A don’t get no respect Jew.
• A Windows made him money Jew.
• A former Playboy bunny Jew.
• A teacher of the Torah Jew.
• Bet she could dance the hora Jew.
• Up here it’s pretty chilly Jew.
• We all just call him Billy Jew.
• A master of the easel Jew.
• An awful Wall Street weasel Jew.
• Found good stuff in the sand Jew.
• May have owned a Krugerrand Jew.
• Could write a real good song Jew.
• Locked up for far too long Jew. (him too)
• A slightly off the wall Jew.
• He starred in Annie Hall Jew.
• Reviving Hebrew lingo Jew.
• The first Las Vegas bingo Jew.
• A guy who gave us Google Jew. (him too)
• A guy who played the bugle Jew.
• He fought the oil embargo Jew.
• Those guys who gave us Fargo Jew.
• Looks a lot like Krusty Jew.
• Her comic skills weren’t rusty Jew. (or her, her, …)
• His jokes just make us smile Jew.
• But nobody’s as funny as Kyle Jew.
• He always had an answer Jew.
• Black Swan ballet dancer Jew.
• Solving the Great Riddle Jew.
• Yidl Mitn Fidl Jew.
• Current leader of Kadima Jew.
• He helped fight emphysema Jew.
• King Rehavam’s famous daddy Jew.
• Last name begins with “Maddy” Jew.
• A really famous Commie Jew. (him too)
• A thousand orphans’ mommy Jew.
• A Larry, Curly, Moe Jew.
• That 90210 Jew.
• Very funny, kinda scary Jew.
• Star of Big Bang Theory Jew. (her too)
• The great Habima theater Jew.
• Nothing could be sweeter Jew.
• A truly very kosher Jew.
• That hero L.C. Mosher Jew.
• He ran to be V.P. Jew.
• Wants you to buy a tree Jew.
• Most famous for his rain prayer Jew.
• Owned donkeys but no reindeer Jew.
• His jokes are rather corny Jew.
• Well known for being horny Jew.
• A great offensive blocker Jew.
• Hard core Israeli rocker Jew.
• A never would surrender Jew.
• Not a borrower but a lender Jew.
• It’s good to be the Caesar Jew.
• You’d really like to squeeze her Jew.
• A sometimes very silly Jew.
• Too friendly with “Slick Willie” Jew.
• A great leader yet so humble Jew.
• We wish he’d learn to mumble Jew.
• A real over-achiever Jew.
• A great Torah believer Jew.
• Made swimming look so simple Jew.
• Bet he never had a pimple Jew.
• Originally a Danish Jew.
• Supreme Court leading Beinisch Jew.
• A great Broadway revival Jew.
• The courage of survival Jew.
• A great medieval poet Jew.
• Won’t say it, so he’ll show it Jew.
• Mixed up with organized crime Jew.
• Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme Jew. (him too)
• Wrote a guide to kosher love Jew.
• Flew toward the stars above Jew. (her too)
• He really loved to travel Jew.
• Unconscious thoughts unravel Jew.
• Could write a funny blurb Jew.
• Some English guy named Herb Jew.
• A great violin master Jew.
• That ABC sportscaster Jew.
• The Prime Minister of France Jew. (plus him, him too)
• His music makes you dance Jew. (or him, plus him, them, etc.)
• Was a good Jew and a rich Jew.
• On Yom Kippur would not pitch Jew.
• Could tell a Yiddish story Jew.
• Spent Tuesdays with Morrie Jew.
• You don’t have to be a white Jew. (him too)
• Or vote left instead of right Jew. (him too, him, him, etc.)
• His movies are quite scary Jew.
• “Just shake it off, Kerri!” Jew.  (she’s great too)
• If I Were A Rich Man Jew.
• Lucky Strike pitchman Jew.
• Counted stars unto the billions Jew.
• Helps causes with his millions Jew.
• A smart Nobel Prize winning Jew.
• Most famous for his sinning Jew.
• A brilliant chess player Jew. (him too, and him, etc.)
• The famous giant slayer Jew.
• Transformed the Internet Jew. (with him and him too)
• Her work-outs make me sweat Jew. (her too)
• Bet he can cook ricotta Jew.
• I can’t believe he’s not a Jew! (her too)