Neither God nor Yaakov desire a reunion between Yitzhak and his heir (Vayishlah)
It would appear, from a close reading of Parshat Vayishlah, that neither God nor Yaakov had any desire for an actual reunion between Yitzhak and Yaakov. And, by extension, it may well be that Yitzhak also had no desire for such a reunion during his lifetime.
Notice the contrast between what God tells Avraham in Parshat Lekh Lekha and what He tells Yaakov in Parshat Vayishlah:
וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־אַבְרָ֔ם לֶךְ־לְךָ֛ מֵאַרְצְךָ֥ וּמִמּֽוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וּמִבֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑יךָ
And God told Avram “Go from your land, and from your birthplace and from the house of your father …
Bereishit/Genesis 12:1
וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ יַעֲקֹב֒ אֱלֹהֵי֙ אָבִ֣י אַבְרָהָ֔ם וֵאלֹהֵ֖י אָבִ֣י יִצְחָ֑ק
יְהֹוָ֞ה הָאֹמֵ֣ר אֵלַ֗י שׁ֧וּב לְאַרְצְךָ֛ וּלְמוֹלַדְתְּךָ…
And Yaakov said “ God who told me
‘Return to your land and to your birthplace …’”
32:10
Conspicuously absent in God’s ostensible command to Yaakov are the words “and to the house of your father”
As the Parsha continues, Yaakov demurs when Esav, following a full and emotional reconciliation between the two brothers, offers excuses not to accompany his brother back to their father’s home:
יַעֲבׇר־נָ֥א אֲדֹנִ֖י לִפְנֵ֣י עַבְדּ֑וֹ וַאֲנִ֞י אֶֽתְנָהֲלָ֣ה לְאִטִּ֗ילְרֶ֨גֶל הַמְּלָאכָ֤ה אֲשֶׁר־לְפָנַי֙
וּלְרֶ֣גֶל הַיְלָדִ֔ים עַ֛ד אֲשֶׁר־אָבֹ֥א אֶל־אֲדֹנִ֖י שֵׂעִֽירָה׃|
Let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I travel
slowly, at the pace of the cattle before me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.”
33:14
Notice how Yaakov offers a feeble excuse for lagging behind. Yet even here he talks about eventually reuniting only with Esav – “until I come to my lord in Seir”. There is no mention of Yitzhak.
Not only does Yaakov drag his feet, he actually settles down and builds a permanent domicile far from Hevron where Yitzhak was still living:
וְיַעֲקֹב֙ נָסַ֣ע סֻכֹּ֔תָה וַיִּ֥בֶן ל֖וֹ בָּ֑יִת וּלְמִקְנֵ֙הוּ֙ עָשָׂ֣ה סֻכֹּ֔ת
עַל־כֵּ֛ן קָרָ֥א שֵׁם־הַמָּק֖וֹם סֻכּֽוֹת׃
And Yaakov journeyed on to Sukkot, and built a house for himself and made stalls for his cattle; that is why the place was called Sukkot.
33:17
Sukkot was located in the Jordan Valley east of the Jordan River and quite far from Hevron. By building a home for himself, Yaakov was making it very clear that this is where he intended to stay.
Yet, when he feels compelled to uproot himself from Sukkot we see that God Himself will re-direct him to a place other than Hevron.
וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֔ב ק֛וּם עֲלֵ֥ה בֵֽית־אֵ֖ל וְשֶׁב־שָׁ֑ם …
And God told Yaakov, “Rise, go up to Beit-El
and remain there …|
35:1
And now the Parsha inserts a fascinating aside:
…וַתָּ֤מׇת דְּבֹרָה֙ מֵינֶ֣קֶת רִבְקָ֔ה וַתִּקָּבֵ֛ר מִתַּ֥חַת לְבֵֽית־אֵ֖ל
And Devorah, Rivkah’s nurse, died,
and was buried beneath Beit El …|
35:8
What was Devorah doing in this entourage in the first place? Shouldn’t she have been with Rivkah, back in Hevron? Or is the Torah informing us that Rivkah, too, had long abandoned Yitzhak and Esav and had returned to Padan Aram in order to be with her preferred son Yaakov (and not coincidentally with her brother Lavan)? And now that Yaakov is returning to “his land and his birthplace”, (but not to “his father’s house”) she is right there with him?
I would argue that this was clearly the case. Just as Avraham and Sarah were living far apart, so were Yitzhak and Rivkah. Avraham was living in Beer Sheva with Keturah (Hagar) and her son Yishmael. Likewise Yitzhak was living apart with his preferred son Esav. And it was only in death that the Patriarchs and their sons were re-united with their respective heirs as designated by God..
It would seem that Yaakov did not go back to Hevron until it was time to bury Yitzhak:
וַיָּבֹ֤א יַעֲקֹב֙ אֶל־יִצְחָ֣ק אָבִ֔יו מַמְרֵ֖א קִרְיַ֣ת הָֽאַרְבַּ֑ע הִ֣וא חֶבְר֔וֹן אֲשֶׁר־גָּֽר־שָׁ֥ם אַבְרָהָ֖ם וְיִצְחָֽק׃
And Yaakov came to his father Yitzhak at Mamre, at Kiriat-Arba—now Hevron—where Avraham and Yithak had sojourned.|
35:27
Note how there is no reconciliation, no embrace, no kiss and no words between father and son. Why? Because Yaakov was coming to bury Yitzhak.
וַיִּֽהְי֖וּ יְמֵ֣י יִצְחָ֑ק מְאַ֥ת שָׁנָ֖ה וּשְׁמֹנִ֥ים שָׁנָֽה׃
And Yitzhak was a hundred and eighty years old
35:27-8
Once again history repeats itself, as two very different brothers reunite to bury their father:
וַיִּגְוַ֨ע יִצְחָ֤ק וַיָּ֙מׇת֙ וַיֵּאָ֣סֶף אֶל־עַמָּ֔יו זָקֵ֖ן וּשְׂבַ֣ע יָמִ֑ים וַיִּקְבְּר֣וּ אֹת֔וֹ עֵשָׂ֥ו וְיַעֲקֹ֖ב בָּנָֽיו׃
And Yitzhak he breathed his last and died. He was gathered to his kin in ripe old age; and he was buried by his sons Esav and Yaakov.|
35: 29
Even the language used is virtually identical:
וַיִּגְוַ֨ע וַיָּ֧מׇת אַבְרָהָ֛ם בְּשֵׂיבָ֥ה טוֹבָ֖ה זָקֵ֣ן וְשָׂבֵ֑עַ … וַיִּקְבְּר֨וּ אֹת֜וֹ יִצְחָ֤ק וְיִשְׁמָעֵאל֙…
And Avraham breathed his last, dying at a good ripe age… And his sons Yitzhak and Yishmael buried him
25:8-9
It would appear that the the divide between Avraham and Yitzhak and that between Yitzhak and Yaakov were both unbridgeable. Only with the death of the father could there be any reunion with the son. Indeed, the relationship between the brothers, Yitzhak and Yishmael the sons of Avraham, and Yaakov and Esav the sons of Yitzhak, were far less fraught than that between the respective fathers and their designated heirs.
