The unparalleled national political standup comedian of the Netherlands in the last century after WW II, Wim Kan, once put it like this, which could easily be true of the Israeli situation now:
With a new year approaching, you always have these tea leaves readers with their spooky forecasts. Gloomy thinkers, prophets of doom. I now heard one. He said that next year a great statesman will die. I thought: that can never be one of our politicians.
Predicting is always hard, especially when it concerns the future.
But it can also be fun. Here you have my predictions. If you don’t like political satire, please don’t read on.
Trump’s only friend left, Adelson, just bought a nice modest home for ex-president Trump. When he’s unceremoniously carried out of the White House by the military, with salutes and smiles, and completely pardoned by Biden, Trump will fly to Hertzliah where he will live out his life. Israeli journalists will give him all the attention he craves and paling CNN, reveal all the lies and fabrications. But he will never learn Hebrew and no one will dare to tell him, so this way, everyone will be happy.
Yair Netanyahu and his wife (!) will actually live in his basement where he spends most of the time trying to irritate the then Left-Center coalition parties and their voters, which gives Baron Trump a chance to beat him at chess on a daily basis.
Of course, Mrs. Trump-Kushner will run for the Republican ticket for 2024, but she will lose from Nikki Haley, who will lose from Kamala Harris who took over from Joe Biden with Yang as VP.
You see, is it not charming to fabricate the future? Definitely less harmful than rewriting history.
Man goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. After the examination, the GP says: You better sit down.
Doc, nothing serious, is there?
I’m afraid you only have three weeks to live.
Three weeks to live? What? Is there nothing I can do?
Yes, you could.
I’ll tell you. Getting to bed at 8 PM every night and getting up at 4 AM and start the day with two hours of jogging. After that, a cold shower (no more warm showers), breakfast, everything dry and whole-wheat. Only drink allowed is water, so no soft drinks, hard drinks, coffee, tea (including herbal). Dietary restrictions around the clock: no sugar, no salt, no fat, no pepper or other spices, no onion, no meat, no fish, no animal produce at all, all veggies raw, no more white flour produce or white rice, no chocolate. No more television, no PC, no telephone including texting, including the news and sports. No massages, no entertainment, including music. and no sex. In the afternoon a nap of at least 2 hours. No emotional discussions with anyone. A one-hour workout per day.
The guy gets whiter and whiter. When his physician finally stops, he asks with a tiny voice: And doc, if I do all that, will I live longer?
No, sir, but it will seem longer.
May we all have a very short new year!