October 7th: Turning Grief Into Action

October 7th, 2023, the day that changed our lives forever. My father left to pray at sunrise, and he woke up hearing loud booms from the distance, so he woke my mother up and notified her that we should be expecting rocket sirens. The sirens felt different – they felt more intense than usual. I knew something was wrong right away. It was Shabbat and a holiday, so I couldn’t use my phone to see what happened. I was terrified, to say the least. I also have anxiety, I can’t express exactly what I was feeling on the first siren. It felt like a nightmare.

On October 7th, 2023, I experienced at least seven sirens, one after the other, all morning. Once I built up the courage to go to Shul (Synagogue), I went to see if anyone knew what had happened. People who are part of emergency services have a phone on them, and they stay alert. By this time, the IDF had already called up reservists from all over the country. I was told that terrorists infiltrated into Israel from Gaza, and are attacking southern Israel. Someone said to me at that moment that 40 Israelis were kidnapped, and hundreds were murdered. I didn’t believe what I was hearing. I was shocked. My shul was praying in a building that allowed us to get onto the roof, so I and a few others went up to see if we could see anything in the sky.

After hearing what I heard, I ran back home. Shaking, my heart beating fast, and scared, very scared. When I got back home, I did everything I could to distract myself from the horror, I couldn’t get my mind off it. I stood by a window in my house for about 6 hours. Crying, shaking, praying, and hoping. I was hoping that Israel would be okay. Throughout the day, I heard non-stop booms. It’s been like that ever since. I feel like I was reborn on October 7th. A new version of me was born. So many memories are engraved in me. Life before October 7th is just a shadow. It feels like it was a past life. It was.

After Shabbat Simchat Torah, when I was able to check my phone, I was horrified. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, all the inhumane things they did. I was terrified. We all were. I started to feel very useless. For weeks after October 7th, I wore the same clothes I wore on October 7th (blue shorts and tzitzit). My young self thought that terrorists were gonna kidnap me. Yes, I really thought that for the first few weeks. The first week, I didn’t leave my house at all, but slowly I started to go outside to walk my dog that I had at the time. I would walk just 100 meters or less, not far. It was a form of fear that I can’t express.

Following that dark, horrific day, I started feeling useless. I had a sense of emptiness. I knew I had to do something. I was seeing all the videos of other Israelis going down south and supporting and encouraging our soldiers, and all of those videos are incredible. October 8th showed us who we truly are as a nation, I wish we could go back to our unity at that time. We all took care of one another like never before. Slowly, as I started feeling safer going outside, I started going to bases and encouraging our soldiers. For the first 2-3 months after October 7th, my father and I would drive around the country making BBQs, and much more. One big thing we did was beef jerky – my father would get duffel bags of beef jerky every week and we would go to bases to hand them out to anyone who wanted. It made me smile every time I saw a soldier smiling at us giving them beef jerky.

In November 2023, my father and I were on our way to give beef jerky to a friend who was about to go into reserves, and since I’m a Kohen (priest) my father suggested that I bless him, and I was more than happy to, so we gave him the beef jerky, and I asked him if I could bless him, he was more than happy to receive a blessing. I blessed him, and later, when I would go to more bases, I blessed many more soldiers. From motivating my fellow Israelis to supporting our soldiers in any way possible, and blessing them. I had a very meaningful few months.

After a few months, everything started to happen less, I wasn’t going to bases as often and I began feeling helpless again. I didn’t know what I could do anymore. I was inspired to start posting on social media, speaking up for Israel and the Jewish people. I’m a young person, and I feel an obligation to do what I can to secure a better future for myself, and my people. My love for my homeland and my nation has never been stronger. Over the past year, we’ve grown so much. I believe that only together we can reach our goals. Only as a united nation.

We, as a nation, hold grief in one hand, and joy in the other. This year has been filled with heartbreak and grief, but with that comes much unity and love. It’s easy for us to focus on what we’ve lost this year, but we can’t forget the good moments that happened as well. The small acts of kindness, the unity, and the hope that is still with us. That is the resilience that defines us. Throughout our history, we’ve faced many challenges, but each time, we rise, and this time will be no different.