Oh, the Places You’ll Blow

The future is bright. Picture credit: Pixabay.

You can blow up in markets

You can blow in cafes

There are so many places to blow up nowadays

Behead that infidel

Go ahead, be a man

Then we’ll drive around with machine guns

In the back of a van

We’ve got firepower packed

All the way to wazoo

And agents in Cairo and Kalamazoo

We get to use rockets; knives, guns and rocks

While the rest of the world observe us in shocks

But they won’t do much, they’re too busy to care

About all the mayhem that we sow over there

Oh, sometimes they’ll get on condemny and stuff

Don’t worry ‘bout that, it’s just words and just fluff

The things that most matter, are the things they won’t do

Unless of course, your name ends with Jew

Now remember your mission:

Your mission is peace

Your goal is to spread it ‘cross the whole middles east

And even beyond!

Why, there will be no end

To the fiery peace that your wrath will descend

It will be a utopia

(at least for the men)

Women and gays,

Who cares about them?

Your future is bright

And the pathway is clear

So go up to that bus

And blow up it, my dear

And if this world’s not enough

There is more! Don’t go! Wait!

How ‘bout 72 virgins served up on a plate?

‘Cause that too, my friend

Can be yours today

For the cost of your life –

Is that too much to pay?