Open Call for Allies: A Call to Arms.

I do not feel safe in the country (where) I was born.
I do not feel safe at Jewish events, address kept secret til just before, then only given with confirmed RSVP, ID’s checked anyway by armed guards. Which is supposed to make me feel safe. But reinforces I am not. That there could be people who slipped inside, or wait outside to kill me. I go anyway because being with people in community is stronger than fear (barely). It’s what we do, and need to. We won’t stop gathering.
We won’t stop being murdered. For simply being Jewish.

Jewish slaughter by radicalized sheep is normalized, excused, trivialized, forgotten. This is our reality day after day. No one but us cares if we die.
People go about their lattes. We don’t need the FBI to tell us:
Jews are not safe in this country.

We need allies. Have virtually none. It’s fashionable and chic (again) to Jew-hate.  We normalize bigotry and call it ‘politics’. We rationalize murder, dressed up as resistance. We justify abhorrent things, shrug them off. “well: you know. Israel.” This is a plea. I can’t fix this on my own. Jews collectively can’t fix this on our own. We are fierce, but tiny.
We are outnumbered, surrounded and drowned out by hate.

I believe in us infinitely. I also believe we need our numbers strengthened, exponentially. So I am asking you, if you read this: do something. Not for me personally, chances are you don’t even know me. Just please do something to stand up to Jew-hate and make the world a nicer place. We might call that a mitzvah. You may call it “doing a solid”. Whatever. Same idea, same concept. It’s really not complicated. We’re headed somewhere bad. It’s only getting worse. Your support is needed.

One thing specifically haunts me unendingly: every Jewish child ever has sooner or later asked his or her parents “but why do they hate us?” There is no reason. Try explaining hate to a child. Try being that child, not understanding. And realizing so many years later, grown: children are still asking this very same question, for which there still is no answer. I’d like to think something changes. I’d like to think we can rely on anyone besides ourselves to fight for our right to be alive, sharing space on the planet. Bar’s pretty low there. Really.

Most people are not Jewish. And not following Jewish issues. I get it. People don’t grow up with inherent understanding of the Middle East, or Jewish history. Most of what happens to Jews doesn’t show in their feeds. But friends do. So when they ask what you need, tell them to post something supportive of our people. It’s really basic. Most won’t. We know this already. They’ll perceive it as too complicated or “political” to wade into. But some will. I’m sure of it. And maybe that alone gives hope to some Jewish child somewhere asking “but why do they hate us? Why do they hate us?” And some nice Jewish parent somewhere can point to someone they know who posted in their support…. of just living. Of not being terrorized. Again, the bar could not possibly be lower.
What are we teaching our children?

Every Jew I know is exceptionally tired. Of having to explain everything from our history to our fundamental legitimacy as human beings, to our right to not die horribly. And still, the message isn’t sending.

Watching the DC attacker exult “FREE! FREE PALLLESSSTINNNE!” – brought back every day in Manhattan post 10/7, holed up in my 33^rd floor apartment while this blared in the streets. I lived in the Financial District. I don’t work in Banking. I lived there for Art Deco architecture, and history. But I guess… “Jews and money”. So every day they were out there screaming. Every day it made me queasy. Then Boulder. Firebombing. Molotov cocktails. Setting human beings on fire.
Again: is anyone but us even seeing?

I’m not asking a lot, guys. Just some (even performative) social support for my terrified, traumatized tribe. Can you do that for us please? So we see you? And know we’re seen? It’s nowhere near as risky as hiding us… but that may be next if we don’t work collectively.

…I think a lot about my grandparents’ experience. I am a child of the country they fled to, leaving this kind of thing behind. Different continent, different day. Allegedly, different times. I wish they were here to tell stories and lend guidance; I’m glad they’re not here to see it all happen again, as feared.

I am the last surviving Rubenstein. My name wasn’t shortened at Ellis Island. It’s misspelled and mispronounced, habitually. (It’s even mispronounced top of page in the audio of this piece.) It’s the most basic thing about me. It is mine. I’m proud of stories behind it. Yet I’ve taken it off my rideshare app. Removed it from food delivery. People say live more loudly as Jews! And yes- I am loudly Jewish! Also don’t want to die getting into a stranger’s car. Equally don’t yearn to be poisoned. These are real concerns now, in the name of globalizing whatever intifada and someone martyring himself for a cause indoctrinated into by an algorithm.

I’m used to DM’s ordering me into ovens, or worse. I’ve gotten death threats for years on every social platform with my surname (never counts as hate speech, despite me reporting). I’m still me from behind a screen. It’s a controlled level of hate, or feels like. But now I use my last initial, for anything with physical proximity. It’s disheartening. This is not what Grandpa Rubenstein envisioned, coming to this country. But survival is bred in. He’d want me safe.

Early childhood memory: I came home from kindergarten bubbly. I made friends! “Friends?” he’d thundered, “the only real test of friendship is ‘would you hide me’?”

-I’m not asking to be hidden. I’m very much out here in plain sight, with a name like Rubenstein. I’m not asking anyone to put me in an attic. I’d be claustrophobic, anyway. I’m asking anyone out there to raise your voice about what’s happening to our community, because mine (and all of ours, collectively) is getting rusty. I’m tired of shouting into an abyss. The time is now to speak publicly. We have seen this movie already.

We need allies. Who’s brave enough to speak for us (besides us)…. Anybody?

Waiting.