Pun intended. I am inspired by recently reading a great piece about this. Women in the West are still objectified as if there never was a fight against sexism. I’m going to address heterosexual men about this right now. (Gay men and women deserve their own pieces. This is for White Straight men.)
The oppression of women is also a form of racism. They’re considered less because of what their bodies look like. They are told this from a young age. And then destined for the role of slaves. Feminism and modernity have made inroads and more men are allies to women. Yet, whatever is still here of the phenomenon of women’s oppression is as off as it always was.
Talking of racism, as I mentioned before, spousal murder still did not get its ‘George Floyd moment.’ George, may he rest in peace, was murdered in cold blood by a White policeman in full view of the whole world. It led to worldwide protests against police brutality and systemic racism. But the murder of wives is still kept away from the public eye. Even in headlines. The Jerusalem Post had the audacity to headline the latest Israeli spouse murder report “Police searching for man suspected of brutally attacking his wife” when she was already reported dead over 5 hours at least!
Sexual abuse, genital mutilation, domestic abuse, and murder of sisters, daughters, and (ex) wives form merely the (horrendous) tip of the iceberg of misogyny. And being oversexed plays a central role in all of this.
What are things that make Straight men continue to be obsessed with sex? Let’s face these things to get better at confronting and rejecting these ills.
1. Bad examples. When a father treats his wife as a lesser creature, most kids will copy that in adulthood. Old habits die hard.
2. Addiction. Sex can work as an addiction. Especially when it’s regarded a way to feel great. Instead of as a way to cement a relationship. (Just like treating food as a way to feel good instead of replenishing the body.)
3. Whites feel extra lonely. As kids, most of us were so ashamed of the racism uttered that we turned our backs on Whites forever. We were very small and don’t remember. But we feel clumsy about making friends with non-Whites leaving us isolated. Nothing helps a sex addiction like isolation.
4. Power looks attractive. As long as women are portrayed as weaker, sexism will prevail, and so will unequal relationships with power abuse.
5. Seeing sexism as a problem for women. This also happens in many other oppressions. As if antisemitism is a problem of the Jews, racism a problem of the non-Caucasians, etc. Men caught in sexism and sex are lesser men.
6. Sexism is like most other oppressions a comfortable fit with monetary exploitation. They keep the over-powerful powerful, the vulnerable weak, wives as unpaid, unloved housekeepers, mothers, sex workers, kooks, etc.
7. Tolerance of nastiness in men who must be served. What arrogance!
Jewish Law set rules and customs against each of these problems:
1. A woman should be the head of the household, supported and honored by her husband. She’ll make a human out of him. (If the woman has worse character traits than her husband, making it work is considerably harder.)
2. Sex is for the relationship and the people in it and that’s it. With many rules on how to help prevent casual, recreational, impersonal sex. Sex is too good and holy to squander.
3. Men should have male buddies to learn and pray with, and he should get married and so, at home, he may be close to his wife.
4. The more power people have, the more obligations Judaism hands them. No privileges for the comfortable. Jewish Law is based on obligations, not on rights.
5. Women are superior to men and closer to G^d. Men have a ton of more rules to abide by to be equal to women.
6. We are all alive to learn to give, not to grab and take.
7. Greet people before they greet you. Receive everyone with a smile.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
