Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Violent police in-sight, violent husbands hidden

Abuse by police is known for many years in many countries. It took a video of police taking many minutes to slowly kill a peaceful innocent Black man for the whole world to erupt in protest, to say enough is enough, structural changes are needed, both inside the institution of the police and to dismantle even any sliver of respect for a colonial past and slave trade.

These police murders have a lot in common with uxoricide, the murder of wives by their husbands (or boyfriends or ex-partners), and sororicide, the murder of sisters (‘honor killings,’ by their brothers or fathers, uncles).

● Almost always the perpetrators are men. It’s not corona isolation, it’s not bad marriages, it’s not stress, and it’s not immoral family that did this. It’s men. And just like not all police or all Whites are racist or abuse, not all men are sexists and violent. But, as a society, we must stop being so impressed with powerful men. We need to teach all girls self-defense and self-respect enough to move away from ruthless men in the family. We must appreciate women so much that they would never marry possessive self-centered men.

● This is a total corruption of their function. Police, husbands, and brothers are there to protect, not to possess and murder.

● Almost always they kill full of anger and hatred, without hesitation, without any respect for the person and the life of the victim.

● These kinds of murders are around for a long time and so cruel that the news will not describe the details. Not seldom is such a woman or girl stabbed dozens of times and her body gruesomely mutilated after death.

● These racist and sexist murders are only the tip of the iceberg. Also all intimidation in general of women by their close ones should be exposed as highly problematic, also when it would not end in murder or suicide.

Why did the world explode from the video of the murder of George Floyd and not by unending gynecide, murder of women? Maybe simply because there are no descriptions and no pictures of the latter murders. The previous Shabbat, a husband stabbed his wife 18 times and then jumped out of the window. The news, at one point, showed a picture of his body sprawled out on the concrete driveway. But what was not shown was what he did to the one he was expected to protect. Just before Shabbat, came the news of a husband suspecting of rendering his pregnant wife brain-dead. Since the COVID-19 lockdown in Israel began, four women were murdered and another four victims of domestic abuse committed suicide.

In Iran, the number of ‘honor killings’ is estimated at about two per day, 600 per year. Even when a father murdered his 14-year old daughter who was violated by a stranger, the world did not erupt in protest.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t advocate us all looking at gruesome footage. I didn’t look at the clip of the murder of Mr. Floyd. My retinas saw enough trauma. Surely, seeing was what did it, as I stated before.

Maybe it’s from good taste or to protect us from feeling disgusted that police hide what these girls and women look like after the assault.

But it is also possible that policemen (!) and male reporters and news editors subconsciously don’t want to expose so much male violence.

It seems that we need publication of pictures to cause a similar worldwide storm of protest and calls for reforms to not only stop racist murder and to end institutionalized racism but to get an uprising against sexist murder and to end institutionalized sexism too. Lives of our dearest are at stake.

Show us the mutilations of the murdered wives next to wedding pictures (including the face of the overly sweet husband) and the gruesome wounds of the girls next to her baby pictures! This just needs to stop.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500th blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * NEW: To see other blog posts by him, his overspill blog you can reach by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture at the head of every post. There you may find precursors to later TOI blog posts, addition or corrections of published TOI blog posts, blog posts the TOI will not carry, and some thoughts that are too short to be a TOI blog post. Also, the TOI only allows for one blog post per blogger per 24 hours. Sometimes, he has more to say than that. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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